valentine’s day

Happy matters of the heart month! And when I say “matters of the heart,” I mean ALL matters of the heart. Not just your steady or current Valentine.

Every one of our relationships involves matters of the heart, since in one way or another we are all affected emotionally by our interactions with others. And in many ways these interactions can serve as a barometer of our true selves, if we are willing to be open and grow.

Anyone who has dealt with someone who cannot be open realizes that there is little hope to grow in the relationship. We must at times make ourselves vulnerable – but of course be careful with whom you so engage. I realize how hard this can be but when we truly open ourselves, we have the greatest chance of honest transformation.

We know without question that people do die of a broken heart. So, it should come as no surprise how important matters of the heart actually are.

And of course, as I have said many times, our loved ones in Spirit, our DPs, maintain a continuing heart connection with us from the Other Side. Love does not end with physical death. Love facilitates my work.

Even short passing relationships can impact our hearts. Often, I’ve been awestruck during moments shared with clients – be it in a group, with a couple, or in a one-on-one setting. Those interactions have in so many ways transformed me, and helped me view life from different perspectives.

Interesting, too, how times of conflict and heartache can lead to a greater understanding. Indeed, trials and tribulations can push us in a direction we might not otherwise head. Along the way, if we open our hearts to change, healing and transformation are possible – even though the end result may not align with where we thought we wanted to be.

I have leaned that how we think about what we may want in our lives, is often influenced by our relationships with others, and how we feel about them in our hearts. As many of us have experienced, moments of change often occur as a result of our connection to another person(s), as well as how we travel along our spiritual paths. We are, without question, wired for connecting to others.

A relevant quote on relationships that I recently came upon follows. It’s from Angela Wilson MA, RYT.

From birth, we require connection to survive. Babies who don’t receive enough physical contact and emotional responsiveness are at higher risk for behavioral, emotional, and social problems. They cry more and sleep less. At its extreme, babies who are neglected and not touched often don’t survive. Human contact and engagement is as fundamental to our survival as food and water.

The impact of relationships on positive brain development goes well beyond infancy and far into adulthood. Studies show that certain types of therapies can change the brains of people with depression, borderline personality disorder, and trauma. A therapeutic relationship can produce changes in the brain equivalent to and sometimes lasting longer than medication. These studies point to the power of relationships to heal the mind.

Intuitively, this makes sense. Our biggest wounds most likely happen in relationships.

I have talked and written about how losing a parent or sibling when you were a child affects your relationship choices later. Heartbreaking. However, by connecting with our DPs, we can close the void that occurs when those relationships are severed at our early age. As long as we are willing to be open and listen.

We also need to be able to forgive. When our friends, family, and/or other loved ones hurt us, we need to be ready to move past it, especially if they are sincerely sorry. When this happens, the relationship can be transformative. The heartache can be healed. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver and the forgiven.

On the flip side, if you are the offender, there is (of course) no guarantee that the one you’ve hurt will accept your apology, and forgive. That is sad, because the inability to forgive may trigger the end of the relationship. However, it’s important to try and stretch ourselves and apologize when necessary, and/or accept the apologies that come our way. Most of the time, following such a path will create a rewarding outcome.

To be sure, one of the most important relationships we have as adults is our relationship with the children in our lives – whether or not we are a parent in the biological sense.

I have had many discussions with people who personally experienced the loss of a child, and perhaps suffered along with the kids through their attention deficit disorder (ADD), autism, bi-polar personality, etc. while they were here on Earth. Naturally, because of what I do as a medium, my personal dealings are after the fact of whatever happened here while the children were in their bodies. But I am honored to be able to work at connecting those children who are now Spirit to their parents (and others) who have suffered this heartbreaking loss, and are now healthy and well on the Other Side.

I’d like to share with you information on a professional who has done worldwide research on The Children of Now – Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey, Ph.D. I had Ms. Blackburn on my show recently. In case you missed the show, you can listen here. I would strongly advise anyone who wants to have some insight into the children of today, to please read Dr. Losey’s book. It’s a cliché but true that . . . it is “Our children who will inherit the earth,” and it is also our responsibility as adults to aid in that journey.

I know that during our journeys, each of us has had Valentine celebrations in school, and/or with a young sweetheart, and/or with families, etc. And the tradition still goes on.

Here’s hoping your matters of the heart on Valentine’s Day, and all days, involve Love.