Listening

If You Listen You Will Hear Them

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One of the most significant questions I’m asked over and over is, do our loved one in spirit hear us.  I always respond strongly, not only do they hear us but it is their job to connect with us in any way possible. The simple reason, love. The strongest and most important energy in the universe, the force that drives all of us.

Love of course encompasses many things; love or passion that drives one to create, protect what we love or care for. This of course is just a few ways, but not to drift away from the love I want to convey here is, the love that continues after physical death.  Or more the spirit/energy that continues after death.

The big question or fear or whatever else comes into question when we are faced personally by the loss of someone we love or our own mortality. That force that will effect everyone on earth, there is as they say “no escape”. The one thought that most do not want to think about until it hits them personally.

The truth of the matter is; we don’t die.  Yes, we shed our physical bodies, and yes, the thought of not being able to hug or talk in the way we once did with that person will be forever gone on this plane or dimension.  But, that does not mean contact, or connecting is done, just not the way we know it to be without our physical bodies.  And it is our job to understand that difference or the way that that communication can continue for us. Of course, this is assuming we care enough or have the faith to believe that door is possible. Love will  keep that door open to the many possibilities.  I speak about many of them in my books, but your way will be just that, your way.

I can tell you there are deaths one never gets over and children are one of them. I’ve dealt with so many mothers, fathers, grandparents that go through these losses, and I have to say I am always amazed how some, without question continue those connections even after years of their children’s passing.  Of course there are others whose grief can never let that door open, for them I always feel so sad for I know without question, that their children so much want them to know they are near.

I will tell you, there are no rules, or set ways that connection will happen, but I can tell you it will if you but listen. There will be unlimited possibilities. They will come to you in the ways that they know are the ways that you will know it’s them.  However, you are the only one that can take the big leap of faith.

You will find many books out there now where a parent will write about the loss of their child.  Some will be quite simply, how communication happens and how by listening it opens a whole new world.  People whom you think would never write such a book, writes one.

There is such one of these books that just came out recently, Kayak Morning: Reflections on Love, Grief, and Small Boats by Roger Rosenblatt.  It’s a beautiful and poignant story of the loss of his daughter and how his daughter returns to him on his kayak.  He listens in the way he knows best, it is in the quiet of his kayak that he continues to know the way for him.

And he quite literally listens, and knows she will always be with him.

 

Listening – An Art

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Listening, I believe, is not only an Art, but a invaluable tool of knowing.  In my travels I get to have so many sharings and conversations with collages, friends, clients. In those moments, and quite often it is just a moment, the sincere conversation where much of our deep feelings are revealed.

Most certainly, with being a “medium”, many of these conversations naturally are about loved one who have “passed over”. Death, without question is probably one, if not the most, of people’s deepest fears and pains.

I was just recently sitting around with a group of people. Some of them I have known for awhile, others I just met. Within this group were several couples. One of the couples that were there I hadn’t seen for some time and had actually only met her husband once.

We started talking, and yes, once again the subject turned to my profession. One of the women there has a very successful private practice as a Therapist. It was particularly important to her to know more about my work.  She was very interested in how my work as a medium was reflected in ways of her own practice.

As we continued the conversation, I started sharing what was the significant theme in my book: Everything Happens for a Reason.  My reason, beside the obvious of writing this book, was that I had over the years become aware that with every passing or death, what we deal with typically has a theme.  For example, how the inter-dynamics of a family changes when a sibling passes or if it’s an instance where a parent passes while we are young.

All of a sudden, one of the women’s husbands’, who up until that point, had been silent, blurted out how his father ‘s death had completely changed the direction of his life. He most likely would have been successful as a ball player if his father hadn’t died. It seemed that the man who had taken his father’s place as a Coach couldn’t quite understand the way he played.  He punched him in the nose, was kicked off the team and spent next several years following another path. That was forty years ago.  He spoke as if it had happened to him yesterday.

The next day before I left several of the woman that were there went out to lunch.  The women who’s husband had lost his father said point blank to me after 36 years of marriage she had never heard her husband share this intimate detail of his father. I said, in my work it’s happens all the time. It’s that moment when something is said, where another resonates with the conversation, that they are able to share their deepest, most intimate feelings that they have kept inside.

She thanked me. It is a reoccurring theme in my work, we just have to be in the moment to listen.  It was then that she said, she almost opened her mouth, and knew that if she did, the moment of her husband sharing his story would be lost.

They are one of those couples that truly love each other, and here she, the therapist, was hearing this after 36 years of marriage. So, yes listening is truly an Art, and one that can open up and reveal the most intimate details of one’s life that we never knew.