Grief – Suzane Northrop

Grief and Rebirth Podcast Welcomes Suzane Northrop

Fasten your seatbelts!

You are about to listen to Internationally acclaimed Medium Suzane Northrop, a true treasure and dynamo who is a font of information about the art of helping people to validate their connections/contact with deceased loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side. In this episode, Suzane talks about grief, the importance of healing and the incredible insights she has learned from connecting with the deceased.

In this episode, you’ll hear about things like:

What inspired Suzane to pursue this calling.
How our deceased loved ones can connect with us without the aid of a medium.
Why the grief process is different for everyone.
Suzane’s goosebump story about communicating with a deceased grandfather through his very young grandson.

Some questions Suzane is asked during this podcast:

How does mediumship help to heal a grieving person’s heart?
How did your music background enhance your mediumship?
Why is it important to have passion and purpose in our lives?

Love Connects Us All!

It’s June! For many, a time to enjoy, directly or through others, a happy graduation! Time also to attend the prom! And, of course, celebrate “Father’s Day!”

For those of you remembering your father, or father figure, who has crossed over, celebrate in a way that makes sense to you and will resonate with him on the Other Side. Send a thought, light a candle, share a memory, raise a glass, and/or do whatever he might like to see you doing – and be as happy as you can. He will appreciate seeing you in a joyful mood.

Ah yes, June! Especially during this month, with Summer on the way, it’s fun, sweet, and so nice to see young people graduating, and attending proms. Nowadays things are a bit more unique, as two girls and/or two boys go to the prom together, as a couple!

Ah, young love, basking today in a moment that someday will be a wonderful memory.

Lately, I can’t help but notice so many young people experiencing what prior generations have experienced – losing friends so young. In the past, much of this tragedy had to do with war, and drugs. And now, for some, that is still the case. So sad that even with the progress we’ve made technologically, there are still cycles of tragedy and sadness that prevail in certain quarters. Very sorry about that.

Yet, there are others who are becoming involved with causes and dedications, and doing what they feel is deeply important, be it anti-war, pro-clean air, and/or or pro- human rights, etc. It is the young who will inherit the future, so let it be that they involve themselves, for they will take the reins eventually. I, for one, send them my blessings.

Remember that wherever we find ourselves now, metaphysically speaking, our souls chose to be here, present in this time in history, following the paths our souls – AKA, our higher selves – have chosen. Wherever we are, it is up to each individual to step up and face the soul’s chosen journey. Not an easy task. Planet Earth is a tough learning school. But it’s all about taking responsibility.

Yes, so many young people doing amazing things. And, of course, ultimately, it’s all about Love, which hopefully can be a light for those wandering through a dark tunnel.

On another note, for you lovers of the animal kingdom, here is a story taken from an article written by Laura Goldman, published in Care2Causes in April, 2017. (Original article published here.)

For 20 of the 21 years she’d been in captivity at SeaWorld San Diego, a polar bear named Szenja shared her enclosure with her best friend, another female bear named Snowflake.

After losing her appetite and energy, Szenja died “unexpectedly” on April 18, according to SeaWorld officials. But based on what had recently happened to Szenja, her death should hardly be considered “unexpected.”

[Previously] In late February, SeaWorld [had] transferred Snowflake to the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium in an effort to be bred. Many people urged Sea World not to separate the best friends. You just can’t separate best friends after a 20-year friendship.

Yes, animals and humans can, and do, die of a broken heart.

Another example of how relationships matter so very much, even in the animal kingdom. Let us not forget that we humans are animals, and that life can and does often change on a dime.

One thing that will never change is Love. And those memories that Love can inspire. No one can take those memories from you, no one. They are filed away in your heart, mind, and soul forever.

So much is going on for me lately, I can’t describe it all here, at this moment. Very much looking forward to seeing many of you at the Afterlife Conference in Portland. After that, I’ll be jetting to NJ, Baltimore, and Rochester. Very excited indeed.

Oh, and yes, don’t forget to smell the flowers! It’s June, after all.

Honoring Mother’s Day, Spring, and the Grieving Process

Oh my my! My favorite month has just arrived, the merry month of May! Where we find that April showers do indeed bring May flowers.

In case you missed it, I did my spring video showing off my beautiful fuschias! Here it is.

There is always so much to see in the beginning of May. Not only the fuschias but of course my other favorite, the daffodils, both yellow by the way, such a joyful color.

Yes, the season begins! To me, the beginning of May marks the real beginning of Spring, a time when many of us want to break out in song, because we feel a little lighter as the cold weather becomes a thing of the past.

However, for those who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, even the Spring flowers blooming, and green leaves returning, may go relatively unnoticed, or have little impact. When we lose someone, everything else can become secondary, as we grieve.

Although there is no formal manual for processing grief, I can offer a few tips. First of all, the process is totally individual, and thus varies from person to person.

If you’ve lost your mom recently, Mother’s Day – this year arriving late on Sunday, May 14th – may be particularly difficult. Even if your mom passed years ago, Mother’s Day may still be a sad day for you.

But keep in mind that grief will lessen over time, especially if you’ve had a visit from, or connection with, your deceased mom (or another deceased loved one who comes to mind on Mother’s Day). After making that connection, you might even be able to smile on Mother’s Day, especially if your loved one is near.

Pay attention! A visit from your mom on the Other Side may be more likely to occur on Mother’s Day than on a routine day of the year. If the connection occurs, it will make the loss so much easier to handle because you will very well realize that death is not the end. The spiritual self, our true essence, continues after physical death, as does our eternal Love for one another which keeps the connection intact.

Again, remember that everyone is different. If you feel you want to be alone on Mother’s Day to take a walk or a hike, read a book, or go to the movies – do so! In contrast, some folks like to play bingo! Whatever works! It’s all just fine. There are no hard and fast rules.

However, being flexible might help, just in case your sad mood suddenly changes for the better – perhaps because your mom was close to you even if the visit didn’t register consciously – so you can decide at the last minute that instead of being alone, you’d rather go out to dinner or do whatever with a friend, partner, or family member who just happens to be around.

Another suggestion I’d like to offer is this: On Mother’s Day, if the opportunity presents itself, give a toast (outwardly or inwardly) to your mom or other loved one who has passed, or light a candle (not necessarily in church). The same applies if it’s their birthday, or day of passing, or some other day or holiday that was/is still special to them.

You know more than anyone else about the Love you had, and still have, for the person who has passed. Sometimes that Love is manifested through focusing on special memories of the person, like when you laughed so hard together till you cried, or still cry when you look at their picture, taken perhaps during one of those trips you went on together and will never forget.

In short, trust yourself and honor your feelings with regard to the passing of your mother, mother figure, or anyone else. Allow yourself to be any way you want to be on Mother’s Day, and/or any other day. Be sad, be happy, be thoughtful or even angry. Walk your life without judgment if you can, and know that your departed loved ones are just a thought away, smiling at you and thanking you for all the good you did for them.

Looking forward to seeing all you New Jersey, Baltimore, Rochester, and Afterlife Conference folks in Portland soon!

Spring is Just Around the Corner!

Yay! Spring is just around the corner. The vernal equinox is due to arrive on March 20th, just three days after we get to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. And celebrate we will!

So excited that Spring is on the way!

Spring of course means different things to different people, but one thing is for sure – we all feel in one way or another that Spring is a time of re-birth and new beginnings. A time that can put a smile on your face and a skip in your step, as Nature begins to turn a rich and luscious green. Also a time to wipe away those tears if you’ve endured the loss of a loved one over the winter, or during this past year.

After one of my recent events, a woman to whom I had delivered a message came up to me. It was clear that she needed a hug. No questions needed to be asked, nor statements made. As the tears rolled down her cheeks, she shared how this had been a very hard year for her. She lost not only her dad, but a dear friend, and her nephew as well. Her sister and daughter had attended the event with her and it was a very intense experience for all of them.

Interestingly, I find it not uncommon for families to suffer several losses in a row. When someone is just trying to deal with a passing, there is soon another one right after, or as was in this family’s case, three within a year.

The woman told me that her son was having a very hard time adjusting to his cousin’s passing in particular, and was pulling away from the family. She and I talked about it and how this was when the family needed to be there for him. Hugs would be good medicine.

One thing was for sure, the young man is very sensitive. And if there is one thing I can share that is critically important, it is that boys who are very sensitive have it much harder in this world, there being a certain macho expectancy of young men in our society.

Fortunately for this young man, his mother gets it, and has been very much there for him in letting him know how important family is. He recognizes their love for him and that they are there to help him through. Interestingly enough, the young man is also very close to his aunt, the mother of his deceased cousin. So, he is blessed to have not only a loving mom but also a very caring aunt and others to help him process his grief.

I have no doubt that after these three passings, the family will very much be looking forward to Spring and all its beauty. Fortunately, they live in a part of the country where Spring in always a joyous welcoming.

In the U.S., the overall population doesn’t deal very well with physical death, which is a reaction that is very different from so many other cultures I’ve encountered around the world.

None of the feelings of grief after losing a loved one come with a manual, and we all need to deal with and process grief in our own way. But dealing with death is part of the journey we all signed up for. Fortunately, I have been honored to be able to make things easier for so many by connecting those still here with their loved ones in Spirit, and sharing precious moments.

With Spring on her way, and anticipating those feelings of new birth, I am reminded that our loved ones want us more than anything to value our lives, and be happy. Of course there will be ups and downs, bitter and sweet moments, but it is all about the cycle of life. Our DPs want to remind us that they are literally there in Spirit when we take our walks, look at their photos, or just flash on a memory, maybe like the time we laughed so hard that we peed our pants. Most importantly, they want us to continue to feel the love we still share with them. It is all of these little things that are really SO BIG – fond memories and continuing enjoyment that no one can ever take away.

Recently, I was interviewed by a doctor who had been woken up during the night by her house lights flashing. She was sure it was her mom, who has crossed over, telling her to visit her niece who was in the hospital with terminal cancer. Although the doctor knew that her mother wanted her to go see her niece, she had second “logical” thoughts, and considered discussing the situation with others. Fortunately, she decided against consulting with anyone, feeling she would have been talked out of making the trip to the hospital. Instead, she followed her first impression – first impressions usually being a very reliable indicator when receiving messages from beyond.

The doctor went to the hospital and learned that her niece hadn’t eaten in a week, and that the staff felt she was on death’s door. Upon seeing her aunt arrive, the niece sat up in the bed, and ordered a mega meal for both of them. They ate, laughed, and joyously shared their bond of love. Later the aunt told me over and over that she was so glad she trusted the message she knew was coming from her mom on the Other Side.

And that my friends, is a memory the good doctor will treasure forever. It also serves as a reminder to listen to those messages that ring so true. If you’ve never done so, give it a try this Spring. And, of course, appreciate the blooming flowers, and watch how Mother Earth works her magic, and creates such awesome beauty. If you have the will and opportunity, plant those seeds of whatever it is you want to have grow. Take care of your project, and enjoy a most wonderful mystery of Nature.

Let me end by saying that I’ve got so many wonderful events coming up, from the West Coast, to the Midwest, to the East Coast. Please check my website for details. Looking forward to seeing all of you, be it for the first time, the tenth time, or whatever.

Welcome to 2017 (A “1” Year Numerologically)!

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2017!

In numerology, 2017 is a “1” year, and representative of the beginning of a new 9-year cycle. 2016, of course, was a “9” year, and the end of the previous cycle.

The way we calculate this is to break down each year to a single digit, by adding all the numbers of the year together. For example: for 2017, 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10 and 1 + 0 = 1. For 2016, 2 + 0 + 1 + 6 = 9.

Take note that this calculation is for the universal year. For your own personal year, add your birth date (day and month) to number 1. For example, if you were born on February 13, i.e., 2/13, you would add 2 + 1 + 3 = 6 + 1 (for 2017) and get “7” as your personal year. My focus in this article will be on the universal cycle.

The start of a new 9-year cycle triggers creativity, learning and growth. It’s truly a time to “plant seeds,” and seek what your heart desires in all areas of your life – career, relationships, money, spirituality, etc. Whatever moves you. 2017, being a “1” year, sets the foundation for the next 9-years.

In numerology, the intentions and foundations you establish during 2017 (preferably early in 2017), can mold the field of potentiality, and set the tone and flow of energy within your life over the forthcoming 9-year cycle.

As you leave the previous 9-year cycle ending in 2016, it’s important to review what did or did not happen during that time frame. And ask yourself, why or why not?

Everything in life has a rhyme and a reason. So while reflecting back over this last cycle, see if you can discover the reasons why certain events occurred. Think about what you might have started in motion at the beginning of the cycle which began in 2008, a tumultuous year for many. Ask, “Where did my efforts lead, and where am I now?” Focus on what was or became important during the 9-year cycle now ending. If you are dissatisfied with where you are now, consider how you may be able to change things going forward.

I’m sure that many of you remember 2008, a year that sent so many of us spiraling into an economic tailspin. Reflect whether and how your life was impacted during that time. See if there are options available now to change things regarding relationships, career, finances, etc. 2017 is a time to dig deep, observe, reflect, and break through if necessary.

Looking back on 2008, I vividly remember so many questions being asked of me at my events regarding our country’s (and the world’s) state of affairs – mostly financial, since so many people lost their homes, their jobs, and their retirement savings. For all of you who went through that, and may still be suffering as a result, I am truly very sorry. It was the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression of the 1930s. Many people were hurt.

In 2008, when so many people asked me, “What the h*** is going on?” I felt compelled to share that it is always important to focus on what’s truly important to YOU! Despite the economic difficulties around the country and the globe, ask yourself: “How is my health? How are my kids, spouse, old friends, home, etc.? How can I make things better?” In times of crisis, it’s important to put all of that into perspective. And keep in mind, that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We’re here to grow spiritually. And crises such as occurred in 2008 can create enormous opportunities for spiritual growth as we stand up to the daunting challenges that may still be impacting us today.

In my experience, those who have hope and faith, and trust that everything will somehow be okay although not the same, have a better chance at navigating through a crisis. I believe that you can, to an extent, create your own reality, especially on a psychological level. How we react to things that occur on this physical plane is crucial. Keep in mind that it’s all part of the human experience which we signed up for, knowing the risks involved, and recognizing that at the end of the journey, our souls will rise above it all.

I’m sure many of you reading this newsletter felt pain during the last 9-year cycle. Kudos to all of you who kept the faith even with so many obstacles in your path. And for those who did not, come on home!

Remember that so much of your own life is in your own hands, and you can control how to react to earthly developments. Better to deal with the cards that are dealt. Turn those lemons into lemonade.

Many people, I know, were paralyzed by fear in 2008. But fear can and will pass. Face it, and stare it down, remembering that challenging times are a good time to teach your children the value of not being able to always get what you want. Often, it’s more important to learn how to reinvent yourself, even if your standard of living is severely impacted.

I was in Staples the other day and the checkout woman spontaneously started telling me that she couldn’t believe how fast time flew, and that last December she had promised herself that she was going to start saving money, but that she wasn’t able to do so then, or even in July or September. Stuff happens! Nevertheless, she expressed that her kids had cars, and that “We’re doing ok.”

She was speaking her thoughts out loud to me, a stranger, for some reason, probably sensing that I might be able to provide some guidance. She said that she believed that she should now start saving. I look at her and said, “You’ll be very happy if you save. You know the expression, ‘Save for a rainy day.’ That’s why we save! There will always be rainy days.”

If you didn’t learn that in 2008, learn it now. It’s nine years later. Ask yourself, have you been able to save? If not, why not? Are you now doing what you want? If not, why not? How can you make things better?

More importantly, has someone important gone from your life? If yes, this may be the time to reinvent yourself, and remember that our departed loved ones stick around and help us as much as they can.

For all those who have lost a loved one dear to them in 2016, please remember to put everything in the right perspective. The first year is the hardest – the first Thanksgiving without a loved one, the first Christmas, the first New Year, etc. Remember that grief is a process, and be positive about the fact that the grief will pass.

Remember while reflecting back on the previous nine years, whom we love, and who loves us. Who was there when we needed a hug, a laugh, or a smile, or words of comfort letting us know that it’s going to be all right. Something I’m very sure many of us have experienced in some way or another over the past nine years.

I recall the Suzy Orman line, “People first, money second,” or the simple quote from Ellen DeGeneres, “Be kind to one another.”

So, in sum, I would suggest, that if you take the time to review in 2017 the last 9-year cycle, you may be amazed, enlightened and/or even amused, at all that has passed, and the good that was there despite all the difficulties – difficulties that were overcome, or that can be overcome, if they still exist.

My dear friend Bill Attride, who is a fine astrologer, will be on my Blog Talk Radio show on January 9th to discuss 2017. If you have the time and are so inclined, give a listen, and maybe call in, to learn what’s likely to manifest in the nine years ahead.

As always, I look forward to seeing so many of you in 2017, a new “1” year. I’ll be traveling to some new places, and reconnecting with those in established venues as we meet once again. Check my website for details.

In closing, let me say that during these past nine years, I have been blessed to meet so many wonderful kind and giving folks along the way. It wasn’t always easy, especially in 2008, but I thank you all for joining me on this journey which continues as we begin a new 9-year cycle.

A Time for Giving Thanks

Welcome to the month of Thanksgiving, a time for giving thanks, and perhaps feeling the need to give back for the blessings we have.

As we approach the holidays, so many emotions come to the surface, along with memories past, and memories in the making.

Memories are personal to each of us, of course, and we all feel varied emotions when reflecting on days gone by, whether moments of sadness as when a loved one who has crossed over is missed, or at times touched in some other way we know is truly important. Wanting so badly to go back to that time when everything seemed right, is commonplace.

It’s been my experience that when our DPs come into our thoughts, a flood of emotions usually rises to the surface. If grief is in play, try to move to a place where your grief will lessen, focusing on the positive memories you had with a loved one who is now on the Other Side. Remember, our DPs want us to be happy.

Those special memories are always with you, and can be be filled with laughter. Maybe you remember having that Thanksgiving dinner when your brother wore that stupid tie to try to impress his new girlfriend. Or maybe that time your sister and her girlfriend tried to create a meal and there was so much smoke in the kitchen that the Fire Department showed up commenting that they were sure you were cooking up something other than dinner!

When we go to those wonderful memories, they can touch and heal our hearts, and once again make us smile. No one can ever take those from you. They are yours to cherish and hold dear.

Some of you may feel very strongly that you don’t want to celebrate the holidays. The thought process being that the times gone by were priceless, and that the present situation is just an empty echo of the past. But, let me preach here for a minute. Don’t you dare give in to that attitude! If you really want to honor those who have passed, then celebrate as they would have wanted you to. Realize that although your DPs may not be here in the physical, they are with you in Spirit. And again, they want you to be happy.

The DPs we honor include, of course, our beloved pets who gave us unconditional love before crossing over. Here’s a story about one. I recently was on a radio show and a techie there was listening to me on the air. The deejay asked me who I thought was going to win the World Series. I try never to make predictions publicly so I said, “I’ll tell you what I think, privately,” and he wrote what I said on a piece of paper for no one else to see. But, as luck or faith would have it, the paper fell onto the floor and the tech guy picked it up and saw that I had said that the Kansas City Royals would win, as would turned out to be accurate later – KC beat the NY Mets. So, the deejay said, “Oh, she meant the first two games,” which was not true – I meant the whole series. Well, the tech guy was already devastated with the Mets having lost Game 1 when they were two outs away from winning on the road. Then everyone shared why he was so devastated. He is a HUGE Met fan and had just lost his beloved dog Shea who had been named after Shea Stadium where the Mets used to play before Citi Field was built. Of course, had I known of the techie’s situation, I would have said nothing. It was still a very raw time for him. To the techie I could only say, “Your dog Shea will be with you always in your heart and if you can listen inward, she’ll be by your side jumping on your bed, during happy times, and there beside you when you are feeling blue.”

As we approach the beginning of the holiday season, know and feel all the love that we want to give and receive. The ability to share and experience love is with us all the time. We need not go further than walking out our front door realizing that every person could use a smile, a kind word, or just a nod hello, all serving as an acknowledgement that you are connecting on a friendly basis. Remember that it doesn’t cost you anything to be courteous and friendly, or to feel positive in your heart toward another. That, my friends, is a part of what Thanksgiving is all about.

Of course, the most poignant message that we all need to be reminded of is, “Do unto others only that which you would have be done unto you.” This is not without limitations of course – it may be that something you would not mind having done unto you is not right for someone else. So overlay this approach with consideration as to whether the person you are addressing is on the same page as you with regard to that which you are considering doing for them.

I personally want to give a HUGE thanks to those who received me at my recent events in California, including Good Day Sacramento. Also thanks to: Pat Walsh on KFBK; WQRC 99.0 “The Q” on the Cape, Karen and Ralphie; K92 Danny and Zack; and as it has been for years, WTIC with Gary Craig and Gang. There are so many more to list, I could go on and on.

To be able to do what I love, and be able to share that love with so many others, here and those beloved ones in Spirit and in our hearts – I am most thankful.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Suggestions for Brightening the Holidays, Even Through Grief

We come again to the end of another year, and another Christmas Holiday awaits us. For many, this is a very wonderful time, while for others the holiday brings up sad memories of our loved ones who are no longer with us in the physical, especially if they have made their transition recently. I know how difficult this can be because missing our loved ones totally changes how we feel and what we do – during the Christmas season especially. Sometimes it seems like we have a hole in our heart. But do the best you can and remember that our beloved DPs are watching over us and want nothing more than for us to be happy. Often being happy is much easier said than done, most certainly if you are still working your way thru the grieving process. However, throughout the years I’ve discussed with others how they manage to celebrate the Christmas holiday when someone they love so much is no longer here in the physical. I’ve gotten a lot of good suggestions. Here’s a list of my favorites:

Hug those you love and those who need love. Thank them for being in your life.
Make a list of whom to shop for, and/or those you want to reach out and touch, during this season of love.

Send out cards, with candle lighting announcements to those you want to reach. For example, “I’ll be lighting a candle for our cousin . . . on Christmas Eve at 8pm Eastern time. Please join me in your thoughts.”

Purchase enough candles to burn throughout the month of December to remind yourself and those around you that Love is immortal, and that it is important to celebrate the lives of those now on the Other Side, even if we can’t see them.
Prepare and mail out cards to those who may be grieving, and express your own positive thoughts as best you can.
Consider decorating your home in the Christmas spirit. If those you love who have crossed over enjoyed decorating, you can do it in their honor.
Plan and carry out huge random acts of kindness, the kind that your departed loved ones would enjoy seeing you perform – remember they are watching!
Smile, and bring nature into your home, perhaps with a new potted plant.
Call, text, write, Skype or visit those with whom you feel a special connection.
Know always in your heart that your loved ones on the other side of the curtain hear you, and laugh with you in joy, as you think of them during the holiday season.

I can tell you that one of the messages that I receive over and over from our DPs is that they DO want us to enjoy this wonderful time of the year, even tho they are not here in the physical. Remember that they are and will always be near us, in our heart, mind and spirit . . . especially when we can take a moment to close our eyes and open ourselves up to listen.

Here’s a short poem for our loved ones . . .

CHRISTMAS
Christmas is a time of year
to go and spread the Christmas cheer
it’s not about presents
but about sharing the love that everyone needs
Christmas brings wishes you hope will come true
especially for the someone so precious to you
a mother, a father, son, or grandmother, uncle, or daughter’s love cannot be replaced
or the smiling you think about that shows on your face
when you think about them . . .
it is always
that place in our heart that we will always love the most

Reminder: Sunday December 8th at 7pm is the worldwide candle lighting ceremony. Join in and feel the spirit! Details are available here.

Have a wonderful holiday season. Love to all those you love, here and in your heart and soul.

Springtime Reflections and Connections

It’s May! Time to smell the flowers!

Of course, joy will be more tempered for us here in the Northeast this season, in light of recent events, including the wonderful people of Boston being victimized at their beloved Marathon, and the lockdown that followed. Tragically, it was a reminder of how life can change in a moment, or “on a dime,” as the old expression has it.

I had been asked last year if I would do a fund raiser in the Boston area for Liam Nation, a organization that helps children with Down syndrome and autism. Hey, I love Boston and do a couple of events a year there, and since this is a great cause, I agreed.

As fate would have it, my appearance there turned out to be right after the bombing. It was touch and go for a while whether I’d be able to get into the Boston area, but one thing I knew for sure: Boston needed all the healing it could receive during this time. So I persevered and fortunately was able to get thru.

I couldn’t help but feel a special connection to the people of Boston as the tragedy came with such an intensity, bringing me back to the unspeakable 9/11 horrors in New York City over a decade ago. Back then, and in Boston recently, so many people did manage to bond together to help heal their cities.

Once again, it is the loved ones left here in the physical realm who must deal with the loss and pain, and to make sense of it all. And once again, I get emails about my book, Everything Happens for a Reason. People ask, what was the reason for this tragedy?

My response is always the same. I can’t give you the specific reasons for everything that happens, but what this is about is our own souls’ processes and journeys.

And of course it could have been worse. I heard one officer say that although it was so painful for those who were directly victimized, and their families and friends, many more might have been injured or killed. Indeed, I got to speak to a number of families and connected to those who had lost limbs. Courageously, they said that they were happy to be alive.

As you know, my work is about the living – those who are still here, processing their pain and grief. It is important to remember that our loved ones who have crossed over are fine and well on the Other Side. We who are left here actually have the tougher job.

It helps to know deep in our souls that we don’t die, and that our loved ones want us to open our hearts to them, and to watch and listen for the signs they will send. We just have to work at being open. We have to figure out the way or the ways DP (dead person) contact works for us, and let it happen. Trust me, they are many ways, as I discuss in my books.

Remember, the more you are open to communication to the Other Side, the better the chances of maximizing your DP connections. Love is the vehicle. Heed the words of John Lennon: “All you need is Love.”

In closing, please let me note that I’m doing my Mothers Day event once again this year for WXLO, outside Boston. I hope to see many of you there. I also look forward to returning to Chicago and Denver.

Thank you all who attended my Connecticut event, which is always so special.

Spring and Nature’s Lessons on Overcoming Grief

Once again, I’ve been wanting something to happen sooner rather than later. This time it’s Spring! However, Mother Nature says Spring will arrive when she’s ready, not when I want it to. I understand that, of course, but after all, we’re now past Easter, having devoured the chocolate rabbits, the colored eggs, and those special dinners. Before that it was the passing of Groundhog Day and the March 21st equinox, neither of which brought much warmth. Come on Spring, get here!

Okay, that’s my mini-rant. Now I’m calming down because this morning the birds – thank God for the birds – and especially robins were everywhere. As has been in the news, so many birds had to change their flight paths to adapt to climate change, some not so easily. But that life, isn’t it? Things change.

As many have experienced, sometimes when we lose someone, our lives change dramatically and it feels like we will never be the same. There is truth in that, of course. So we need to take time to grieve, and then sort things out. Sooner or later, we begin to figure out how to move on as best we can, despite that initial devastating blow.

Just like with the delay of Spring this year, when we lose someone close, there are no magic wands or remotes to fast forward us to the next chapter. As humans, we need to go through the grieving process. Those of us that don’t take the time to grieve, and instead do everything we can to avoid facing the reality of our emotions, are merely postponing the inevitable. At some point, now or 10 years from now, the loss will impact us emotionally. It’s a good idea to deal with the loss sooner rather than later, and let the healing process begin.

Here’s another thing I’ve learned in all my years doing this work. However long it takes you to get beyond the passing of a loved one, and into a mode of normalcy, honor that. If someone tells you to “Get over it” or “Move on already,” tell them, “Walk a mile in my shoes, and then we’ll talk about it!”

Just like getting beyond Winter is taking longer than usual this Spring, overcoming grief can take longer than we hoped and planned. If you find yourself in that kind of situation, just let Nature take its course. Don’t rush it.

Even though Spring is only here on the calendar, it’s very exciting to know that – unless there is another upcoming event that I am unaware of – I will be seeing many of you in the coming months. My special return to Cromwell always warms my heart, and I’ll be doing a fund raiser for Liam Nation this month. I’m then off to Roanoke, Chicago, Denver, Baltimore and Philly. Check out my events page for details.

Valentine’s Day, Love, and Reflections on Sandy Hook

It’s February, a month for many that is so very cold. Yet, it is also the month associated with warm hearts. Partly due, no doubt, to the influence of the famous St. Valentine whose devotion to Love sustained him even while he was in prison.

I must confess that the importance of Love is something that preoccupies my daily thoughts. I am at times very taken aback when I perceive that Love is absent, for I have seen the reality of people dying of a broken heart.

Of course I know, and often say, that Love never dies, even when there is a physical detachment. In my work, Love is what facilitates the connections I make between loved ones-every woman, man, and child – be they here or on the Other Side.

For close to forty years, I have stared into the eyes of hundreds if not thousands of mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers who have lost a child who was so very close to them. The look on the faces of those left behind is always the same, reflecting in that moment how their lives have changed so dramatically. So many of them are simply never the same.

Since Christmas, I have been inundated with questions about the innocent children killed at Sandy Hook, an event of nightmarish proportions which appears to have no rhyme or reason. Like everyone, I don’t have THE answer, but I know this: everything happens for a reason. We may not always be able to perceive what the reason is, but it does exist.

With regard to events like Sandy Hook, perhaps one “reason why” we can all agree on is the importance of realizing how precious is the life of every child. Whether we are talking about a kid of well-to-do parents on the upper West Side of Manhattan, or a child on the verge of starving to death in the war-torn Middle East, we must do what we can to cherish and care for every child in the world. Millions of them are so in need of shelter, water, food, clothes, and LOVE.

Can we all imagine, in the words of John Lennon, what the world would be, if Love replaced war as the dominant theme here on Earth? Try to focus on that, and do what you can for a child near you, or half way across the world. All children should be allowed to feel safe, free, and loved. Please do what you can to help make that happen.

One very simple way, if I may so suggest, is this. During this month of February, the month of warm hearts and Love, give a child, or even someone who is a child at heart, a great big hug. Just to let them know that you care.

In my work, I have had the distinct honor and privilege of being able to reach out to many of your beautiful children in Spirit, and reconnect them to you. Realize, however, that you can do this yourself, at will. If your child is in Spirit – as is my nephew who was born on February 13th and will always be my “funny Valentine” – reach out to him or her with Love. They will receive your message. They will feel your Love. And you will feel the better for it. Guaranteed!

Looking forward to seeing many of you in next few months on West Coast, Canada, Arizona, Denver, Chicago, and of course my own Northeast.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!