Gratitude

Coming Together in Gratitude at the Afterlife Conference

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Here we are in November — the month of connecting with family and friends while enjoying food, drink, laughter, and most importantly, Love — especially on Thanksgiving.

“Sharing our bounty” where it’s needed is key. And sharing Love that’s needed around the world is part of the program. When giving to charities, be selective.

Just did another Afterlife Conference. This year the event was held in Orlando, Florida. As always, a very special conference — lots of sharing with so many wonderful people who worked tirelessly in giving, in any way they could, to help others.

Reminded me of hospice workers, nurse practitioners, shamans who assist their clients’ transition to the Other Side, and all those who are there to listen to folks who have had a loved one pass away, sometimes right before the holiday season.

And then, of course, there are mediums.

Whoever the speaker, the message always is this: We are all here to help heal and give in any way we can — to and for those who need our services. Yes, we are all at times called upon to perform a service, though some of us may not hear, or heed, the call.

For those of us who do hear and heed that call, there are so many ways we can assist. Whatever is performed, it doesn’t have to be of earth-shaking magnitude. It can be a simple task like helping an elderly person across the street.

The other day when I was home in NYC, a woman who was trying to get on the bus was having difficulties — her eyesight was so bad she couldn’t select from her purse, the right change to put into the machine to get on the bus. So, another woman and I helped her out and got her on board.

Then while I was in Orlando, there were several women in my workshop who talked about how there was a rainbow all around the Pulse area where the tragic and infamous Orlando shootings took place. The women were all in awe of the rainbow, and spoke of how beautiful and powerful the rainbow was.

Another gentleman in the workshop remarked about how he happened to be in Northern California when the recent fires broke out — right near where his dear friend Jill had a rescue mission for horses. What he couldn’t believe was, all the barns in that area had caught fire, except one, which belonged to Jill. She had been sitting on the road for over three hours in prayer, and her barn was the only one that didn’t catch on fire! He said that if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn’t have believed it. Yes, prayers can work!

These are just some of the wonderful stories that I have had the honor of hearing, as I performed my service as a medium.

Part of the joy of being at the Afterlife Conference was observing how so many attended not just because of a wish to connect with their loved ones on the Other Side, but to connect to Life here on Planet Earth.

I care about our existence here. My work is not about the DPs (dead persons) per se, but actually about the living folks who remain connected to their loved ones on the Other Side. However, all may and do benefit from the connection.

For all my living folks out there in Internet land, as we approach the holidays — Thanksgiving happens this month, of course — remember: don’t ever feel that the little acts and deeds that you do don’t matter, because they absolutely do.

Even a “Thank you” can mean so much. For example, a very humble young woman walked up to me after my workshop at the Afterlife Conference and thanked me for reminding her that there is no one way
for all of us who are on a spiritual journey, to proceed. I was so happy to receive that feedback.

Indeed, we are not all meant to be one thing. We are individuals meant to be who we are individually, and destined to engage the challenges that emerge along the way.

Next year the Afterlife Conference will be held in Salt Lake City. Hope to see you there.

Enjoy this wonderful time of giving and thanks. I look forward to connecting with many of you in my Florida events, Tampa, Boca and Fort Lauderdale and of course another special “Hope for the Holidays” in Roanoke!

Tolerance, Gratitude, and What’s Really Important

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Welcome to December 2016, the last month of the year!

Last month, we celebrated Thanksgiving, hopefully along with those in our lives whom we love and care for. Soon it will be time for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Mawlid, and other special December events. Of course, this doesn’t mean we have to share the same beliefs with those who are present at the dinner table, but we should at least respect, and especially not ridicule, those relatives and friends who follow a different religion or spiritual path.

I have many friends in education, especially in NYC, “where the world lives,” (or so they say), who often share that a key issue encountered with their students is that the kids often disagree with one another, and get passionate about their beliefs. Good educators teach that there is no good reason to mock another’s belief system. Instead, effective educators teach kids to be kind to one another.

Naturally, learning begins at home. I truly admire parents who teach their children how to behave properly. I recently read an article by a mother who has two daughters – one is Chinese, and the other is a lesbian. The mother came from parents who taught her the importance of tolerance and respect for others. She was recently concerned that the differences between her children could cause problems. She nonetheless felt gratitude for being afforded the opportunity to live her life in this country. She is first generation and her parents instilled in her this gratitude.

For example, speaking up for someone who is weak and has been dissed by another is a kind and courageous thing to do. And I’m sure that I don’t have to remind you how bullying is a major problem. Standing up to bullies is not easy, but it can and should be done. Less difficult would be the simple act of thanking someone for holding open a door, which will elevate your and his or her spirits. Or helping an elderly person with those packages that she can hardly handle, given her struggles with the walker. This is what our end-of-the-year holidays are a reminder of – being kind.

I’m sure also that most of you realize how important it is to give at this time of the year, especially to those who are likely to receive little or nothing, unless you contribute. We all know how hard it is for children who are of lesser means to see other relatively “rich” children get so many more toys than they seem to need. See what you can do about that by helping a poor child in your neighborhood, and/or by contributing to a worthwhile charity that cares for children.

Also, think back. Do you really remember all the toys you got as a kid? Were those toys more important to you in the long run than the thoughts behind them? Do you agree that, as Maya Angelou once said, “I may not remember exactly what someone said, but I remember how they made me feel”?

We are all here together. We are not isolated. Every smile, action, and even thoughts can create a positive change in those with whom we interact.

Would each of us not give away all those lovely presents we have received over the years, to spend just one more holiday moment interacting here in the physical with a loved one who has already transitioned? To experience one more opportunity to feel their presence, hear them laugh, or even argue – just to be close again? Well, cheer up! Your departed loved ones ARE around you, especially at this time of the year. Open your hearts, relax, believe, and feel their presence. A toast of wine to them would also help.

This is what December is all about – a reminder of the things that are truly important – those moments of loving, connecting, and sharing happy memories that are ours forever. Treasure these moments – no one can take them away from you.

Everywhere I go in my line of work, so many faces I encounter, no matter where, over and over again, reveal a sense of loss of missing that special person who has crossed over. But please do remember this: those who have made their transition are in a better place.

Earth is a learning school. We are spirits having a human experience. When the experience is over here, we shed our costumes (bodies) and ascend to our natural spiritual state. What matters most is that we know in our hearts that regardless of how difficult it is to endure physical endings, Love goes on in the Spiritual, and that we will all be reunited with our loved ones eventually.

Our loved ones want us to know that, and to not lose sight of this perspective. They are doing fine. So enjoy life while you can, and as much as you can!

Remember, there is always something to be grateful for, even after Thanksgiving has passed. And although the loss of a loved one can be most difficult, we need to face the difficult fact that we can’t change what has occurred.

However, even if you are a skeptic, you can change your beliefs and thoughts to realize that Love goes on even after physical death. Once you recognize this reality, and feel it in your heart, you will join those of us who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that while the passing of a loved one is often very difficult to endure, and that the grief must be processed, we can deal with such a loss knowing that we will be reunited with our beloved DPs (dead persons) in the future. And meanwhile, they are here watching over us. Rest assured.

On another note . . . I’m often asked about the little things we can do, to help us and others enjoy the holiday season. Here are my suggestions:

  1. Hug those you love and those who need love. Thank them for being in your life.
  2. Make a list of those for whom you want to shop, and/or those you want to touch, during this season of kindness and Love. Remember that shopping for others need not involve elaborate gifts. Effective shopping can be for food that folks need, or for plants to cheer them up.
  3. Send out cards, with candle lighting announcements, to those you know will be touched by your efforts.
  4. Purchase and give candles to your family and friends to burn throughout the months, to remind them, if they are among those who need to be reminded, that Love is immortal. Let them celebrate the lives of those who we know are with us in the spiritual, even if we can’t see them.
  5. Prepare and mail out cards (or texts, or emails) to those who lost someone recently, and are in a state of grieving, while acknowledging their profound grief. Include a personal message, if you have something gentle and positive to say.
  6. Decorate your living space in a way that makes people smile when they enter. And if it suits you, make your home smell of nature, preferably with a plant still growing in the earth, instead of one that has been chopped down and separated from the earth.
  7. Redecorate your living space in honor of those DPs you love, if they loved decorating while here in the physical.
  8. Plan and carry out random acts of kindness – most importantly, in ways that your dear departed loved ones would most appreciate and admire.
  9. Call, or visit, those that you feel a connection to, and/or who may be lonely.
  10. Know always in your heart that your departed loved ones hear you and laugh with you in joy as you think positively of them during the holiday season.

Enjoy December! It’s one of the most special months of the year. Reflect on all the events, connections, and gifts of gratitude you have received in 2016. And be thankful.

And with regard to those experiences that were difficult, remember . . . we are like old-fashioned photographs, in that we develop from the negative.

True love is forever. From my heart to yours.

Tis the Season to be Jolly and Thankful

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Happy Holidays and warm wishes to you, as we welcome in the 2011 holiday season! For many, this is a very difficult time. Memories that lay dormant (or at least in the back of our minds) suddenly come at us full force, consuming much of our body, mind and soul. This is especially true if you are experiencing a recent loss, or if this time of year was significant for you or your loved one in some particular way. Those memories will be triggered by listening to Christmas carols, lighting a candle on the Menorah each day, or watching the exuberant laughter of children running throughout the malls. For me personally, decorating the Christmas tree with ornaments my grandmother made, and seeing photos with friends and family that are now DP’s – especially my beloved nephew whom I was with for his last Christmas – are the moments when the memories come forth.

Speaking of children, I was reminded that on Sunday, December 11th at 7 PM during each time zone around the globe, the Compassionate Friends has its “Worldwide Candle Lighting”. The Lighting unites families and friends as they light candles for one hour to honor and remember children who passed over at any age, from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 PM local time, hundreds of thousands of people commemorate and honor children, creating light around the world for 24 hours. For more information, visit their website: www.compassionatefriends.org.

I continue to be honored and thankful as we all should for all those who give those extra being there moments, the welcome hugs and a good ear to listen when we need it most. It is most honestly what truly gives each of our lives what is deeply meaningful. In all honesty, isn’t that what the holidays are all about? Respect and caring for those who need the extra moment to know someone is there, even in a hurry . . . just an ear to listen so we can share all our feelings around deep losses. That, my friends, is truly what this season is about, and is the reason why I felt the importance of just being there – because knowing that you are not alone is truly a Godsend.

So if you are like me and feel so very blessed in your life, make that extra effort to call a friend over the holidays, or even invite them for tea or cocoa.  If someone has lost someone this year, it will mean even more so,  As we know this time of year brings all those losses to the foreground.  And don’t forget those that have loss their 4 legged companions as well. For many this is their family, and don’t ever think those losses are not equally devastating because they are.

It is always the little things in life that are the most precious, and you have no idea what a smile can do or helping someone across the street.  It maybe the most loving act they have receive that day.  Some where I read: Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.

Enjoy, take in those moments for it tis the season to be jolly and thankful.