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Connections, Loss, and Love in the Holiday Season

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Hope you had a very Happy Thanksgiving, and embraced those precious moments of “Giving Thanks.” Words that say how blessed we are to have family and friends in our lives. Personally, I find these words and the intent behind them to be very uplifting, especially during times of uncertainty.

Very heart-warming and validating to learn that in a study recently published by “Mother Jones,” the number one reason for feeling grateful is friends and family. Indeed, it is the people in our lives who are so important.

And then there are times when we are grateful for not having suffered the way others have, as with the recent inhuman atrocities inflicted on the people of Paris. So sad.

But despite all the war, terror, and violence in the world, Love, of course, remains the most significant force in the Universe. Some would argue that fear is the most powerful, and there is no denying that here on Planet Earth, fear is often in control. However, fear has no power in the Spirit World. On the Other Side, Love is controlling, and connects us to our loved ones who have crossed over. Fear is powerless in that regard.

And even here on Earth in ordinary reality, Love is very powerful, being the force that motivates people to help those in need – be it assisting the homeless in New York City, the refugees in a foreign land, the sick or the dying in our neighborhood, etc. Love is the force that drives the husband who has lost his partner and chooses to travel around the world when there is a season to plant, and instruct those who want to learn organic gardening. Or the sister who continues operating the shelter her brother ran after he contracted MS, and now has trouble just getting out of bed.

You never have to look far to find people who give of themselves, in service of humankind and the Earth that cares for us. For these folks, we should all be thankful. And in your own moments of feeling thanks and gratitude, consider asking yourself, “How can I can embrace Spirit and learn to feel the love of [your beloved DP]?” And further, remember to be thankful for whatever it is your beloved DPs have instilled in you. NO MATTER if the DP most special in your heart at this moment was blood-related or just someone who touched your life for a split second. Whatever it takes to pull the energy in from Spirit, and help us connect with those we love who are still in our hearts – let that be our guidance and inspiration.

It is so wonderful that given all the hardship in the world, there still are so many people who do seek to make a difference. It is this kind of activism – and not all the distorted media focus on all things negative – that I choose to honor and acknowledge.

Let’s take the opportunity to open up our hearts to those we love, give a hug when needed, and make a call to someone who needs to talk. Help someone cross the street or carry their groceries. Light candles for those in need, including ourselves. Make dinner for someone who could use a meal. Give of yourself, of your company. All, of course, if the situation warrants. These are just some of the many small things that mean so much and, as I say, are really the BIG things in life, which I have learned over and over again in doing the work I have been doing for over thirty-five years.

You know, whenever I am working an event and walk into a room, whether it is 50 or 250 people, I know one thing: Everyone is there because they want to connect with their loved ones who they have “lost.” But they are not really lost, are they? They have simply transitioned to where we will all transition one day, and reunite. As I always say, Love never dies, not even with death, and so it is my great honor and privilege to be able to reconnect people with the loved ones they have “lost,” especially during the holiday season.

Around this time of year, I often think about a Christmas when I was in my twenties, on my own, and by myself. I was living in Los Angeles at the time and I was invited into a group. I went, so as to not be alone. I can’t tell you how much love I felt, just being asked to be with others who wanted to include me within their circle of friends. I have never forgotten that special moment which turned out to be within a non-denominational spiritualist community. Another example of how we all remember an act of love and kindness. It is moments like this that we never forget. Looking back, I couldn’t tell you any of the names of the people there, but I most certainly can tell you how they made me feel. Wonderful!

In re-examining the past year, and the years leading up to this time, I see that so many people have gone through a variety of changes, some wonderful, others often challenging. There is a great challenge of course for those of us who have lost someone this year, or for anyone during the holiday season when we are again reminded of our loved ones on the Other Side..

Interesting how many people I’ve met in my travels express that during times of hardship, DP contact is more prevalent and intense. Indeed, if we listen, our DPs (along with our spirit guides and spirit helpers) can help us find what is really important – like performing a service for others – and inspire us to put “doing good” at the top of our list of priorities. Performing a service is good for the soul.

By the way, for the science-minded folks, studies now show that people are happier, healthier, and live longer when they do service for others, and daily express their gratitude for all the gifts they have in their own lives. On this point, there is a very interesting documentary called I am. Check it out!

Also check out my calendar of events. Next up on my calendar is seeing my hometown folks on Friday, December 4th in Nanuet, NY. Also, on my next Blog Talk Radio show – Monday, December 7 – I will be having a full hour of readings live on air! This is my special holiday gift to all of you.

Have a blessed holiday season!

A Time for Giving Thanks

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Welcome to the month of Thanksgiving, a time for giving thanks, and perhaps feeling the need to give back for the blessings we have.

As we approach the holidays, so many emotions come to the surface, along with memories past, and memories in the making.

Memories are personal to each of us, of course, and we all feel varied emotions when reflecting on days gone by, whether moments of sadness as when a loved one who has crossed over is missed, or at times touched in some other way we know is truly important. Wanting so badly to go back to that time when everything seemed right, is commonplace.

It’s been my experience that when our DPs come into our thoughts, a flood of emotions usually rises to the surface. If grief is in play, try to move to a place where your grief will lessen, focusing on the positive memories you had with a loved one who is now on the Other Side. Remember, our DPs want us to be happy.

Those special memories are always with you, and can be be filled with laughter. Maybe you remember having that Thanksgiving dinner when your brother wore that stupid tie to try to impress his new girlfriend. Or maybe that time your sister and her girlfriend tried to create a meal and there was so much smoke in the kitchen that the Fire Department showed up commenting that they were sure you were cooking up something other than dinner!

When we go to those wonderful memories, they can touch and heal our hearts, and once again make us smile. No one can ever take those from you. They are yours to cherish and hold dear.

Some of you may feel very strongly that you don’t want to celebrate the holidays. The thought process being that the times gone by were priceless, and that the present situation is just an empty echo of the past. But, let me preach here for a minute. Don’t you dare give in to that attitude! If you really want to honor those who have passed, then celebrate as they would have wanted you to. Realize that although your DPs may not be here in the physical, they are with you in Spirit. And again, they want you to be happy.

The DPs we honor include, of course, our beloved pets who gave us unconditional love before crossing over. Here’s a story about one. I recently was on a radio show and a techie there was listening to me on the air. The deejay asked me who I thought was going to win the World Series. I try never to make predictions publicly so I said, “I’ll tell you what I think, privately,” and he wrote what I said on a piece of paper for no one else to see. But, as luck or faith would have it, the paper fell onto the floor and the tech guy picked it up and saw that I had said that the Kansas City Royals would win, as would turned out to be accurate later – KC beat the NY Mets. So, the deejay said, “Oh, she meant the first two games,” which was not true – I meant the whole series. Well, the tech guy was already devastated with the Mets having lost Game 1 when they were two outs away from winning on the road. Then everyone shared why he was so devastated. He is a HUGE Met fan and had just lost his beloved dog Shea who had been named after Shea Stadium where the Mets used to play before Citi Field was built. Of course, had I known of the techie’s situation, I would have said nothing. It was still a very raw time for him. To the techie I could only say, “Your dog Shea will be with you always in your heart and if you can listen inward, she’ll be by your side jumping on your bed, during happy times, and there beside you when you are feeling blue.”

As we approach the beginning of the holiday season, know and feel all the love that we want to give and receive. The ability to share and experience love is with us all the time. We need not go further than walking out our front door realizing that every person could use a smile, a kind word, or just a nod hello, all serving as an acknowledgement that you are connecting on a friendly basis. Remember that it doesn’t cost you anything to be courteous and friendly, or to feel positive in your heart toward another. That, my friends, is a part of what Thanksgiving is all about.

Of course, the most poignant message that we all need to be reminded of is, “Do unto others only that which you would have be done unto you.” This is not without limitations of course – it may be that something you would not mind having done unto you is not right for someone else. So overlay this approach with consideration as to whether the person you are addressing is on the same page as you with regard to that which you are considering doing for them.

I personally want to give a HUGE thanks to those who received me at my recent events in California, including Good Day Sacramento. Also thanks to: Pat Walsh on KFBK; WQRC 99.0 “The Q” on the Cape, Karen and Ralphie; K92 Danny and Zack; and as it has been for years, WTIC with Gary Craig and Gang. There are so many more to list, I could go on and on.

To be able to do what I love, and be able to share that love with so many others, here and those beloved ones in Spirit and in our hearts – I am most thankful.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Healing Through Relationships

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Welcome all to the month when Spring begins. The Spring Equinox is Friday March 20th
, three days after St. Patrick’s Day! Now I know some of you are saying, “Yeah, right! Spring,” given the huge mounds of snow and ice still prevalent. Even where it’s supposed to be warm, it’s cold. I heard even the birds this winter were a bit freaking out! But I assure you, those tiny buds are on the verge of pushing up through the ground! Spring is around the corner.

In life, things move in their own time, for their own rhyme and reason. Most of us humans, of course, want everything now, or yesterday. We forget the most important part of why things often don’t happen so fast, that being . . . we may miss the most important part of the journey, or the reason why this or that is happening. Everything happens for a reason, tho the reason is not always apparent.

While some folks seem to sail through life, often I’ll encounter people who have had many losses over a short period of time. They ask, “Why did this happen to me?” Or, “Why don’t I have good luck?” To be honest, I don’t have all the answers for the why’s of anyone’s life. But I do know that there is a reason for everything. Whatever that reason may be, you know deep inside. That is, your soul has the answer. So often, yes, discovering the reason does require looking deep.

I’ve often said that most of our soul learning happens in relationships. If for some reason you don’t learn with the Earth family you were born into, you will likely learn your lessons with a partner, and perhaps your partner’s family. Or perhaps, you will create a “family” through your friends or mutual interests or causes.

Look around you and notice the people in your life. Do they have strong family connections (which by the way is a concept that extends to cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc.). Or are they very involved in their partner’s family, parents, or in-laws? If you were raised with strong ties to a cousin, he or she can often act a sibling. If they have children of their own, the connection continues with them as your nieces and nephews.

Nowadays, with families living in so many different places, it requires much more work to stay physically connected. But I have to tell you that I meet many folks who make sure they personally connect with family and extended family every year or every other year to keep that relationship going. Also, iPhone and computer photos and videos can help bridge the gap. Folks know the importance of family, and they want that priority to be there for their children as well. This can be especially important with the “only child,” with cousins often becoming sibling substitutes.

Through direct and indirect family relationships, we can know or at least begin to understand what our soul program is all about. It’s so easy to look at another’s seemingly happy life and say, “Why not me?” But, you need only look a bit deeper to see that what is on the outside may not correlate to what is on the inside, and what your program might be. It’s not really about fancy houses or cars or diamonds, or the chenille dresses. I know of someone who had all that and she lost not one but two sons . . . one to suicide!

One of my favorite interviews is when Barbara Walters was questioning Gloria Vanderbilt. Barbara asked Gloria, and I quote, “Why you? Why did you lose a son to suicide?” Gloria’s answer, “Why not? Money never has nor will it ever exempt one from loss.”

In short, not everything is at it appears to be. Just as when we look at all the snow still piled up, we may not see the green coming up from below, but I assure you, it happens every Spring, which is just a couple of weeks away (officially). It’s just like magic! How can one not be amazed at Nature in her presence and beauty? What was once barren gives birth to flowers, leaves, bees a buzzing, and the animals (like us) adding a skip to their step.

So be patient. In life and in season, the change will come. Maybe not how you dreamed it or exactly how you wanted it to happen, but changes will arrive. Meanwhile, count your blessings – that favorite dish on the table, or just sitting down beside the one you love. Sometimes the simplest things are the greatest gifts that can be given, or received.

So come on Spring Equinox. Bring it on!

This Spring – besides being occupied by my seedlings – I am delighted to return to some of my favorite places: Lafayette, LA, Tucson, AZ and my hard core Northeast Connecticut homes.

Looking forward to it all.

A Season of Giving & Gratitude

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OMG! It’s not even time for the December Solstice and Old Man Winter is already pounding down on the rooftops in the north. I don’t think we’ll be shuffling off to Buffalo anytime soon! Wondering if the children there are worried that Santa will have a problem landing his sleigh! Now, if we could only figure out how to ship all that snow to the places suffering from water shortage.

I’m sure there are many of you who, like me, are tuned into the Earth and are not at all surprised by Old Man Winter’s bringing snow so early. It could be worse. Remember Super-Storm Sandy? Especially since that devastating event in 2012, more and more homeowners are wisely investing in their own generators.

As we approach the end of another year, I ask you: is it me or are things moving so much faster nowadays? Ever hear of Gregg Braden? He’s a very cool inspirational guy who combines wisdom from the past with science and spirituality for healing the planet. Gregg has spent the last twenty years living in ancient temples and remote monasteries. He believes that the center of the earth is moving faster than in any other time in history. Consider looking into the adventures of this spiritual pioneer as we speed toward 2015.

While we usually cherish and celebrate the December Holidays, I can’t help but focus on those who will find this year to be different from all others, when they see that empty chair where a dear loved one used to sit, but who is now on the Other Side. Maybe some of you felt that way this past Thanksgiving. Try not to let your loss impact your joy too much (easier said than done, I know), but instead realize that life is better on the Other Side. Our DPs are fine, and will let you know that all is well, if and when they can. The less sadness you harbor, the easier it will be for your loved ones to connect to you via a dream, message, or a split-second feeling. Remember, Love continues when we die. In fact, my friends, Love in all its many types and intensities remains the most significant force in the Universe. Love is THE force that drives us.

I was just reading about a 90-year old man in Ft. Lauderdale who feeds the homeless. He took to doing so after losing his wife who for all her life helped those who needed that little extra Love. This is his way of honoring the woman with whom he shared 70 years of his life, and to whom he refers as “Angel.” What a wonderful way to give, in this giving time of year.

I received many responses last month about my comments on Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. Thanks for your feedback. I very much appreciate your take on what I write. And even when there is disagreement, it’s still good to share. After all, the Afterlife affects all of us in so many different ways. By sharing our thoughts, we can spread the Word where needed.

Recently, I have been receiving a number of requests to remind people of some of the little things (which are so important) that we can do throughout the holiday season, just to let people know that we care. So, kids, here goes, just to list a few.

  1. Hug those you love and those who need Love. Thank them for being in your life.
  2. Make a list of people (and pets!) to shop for, and/or those you want to touch during the season. Remember that shopping can be for food, plants, clothes, candy, or whatever.
  3. Send out cards, with candle lighting announcements.
  4. Purchase candles to burn throughout the month to remember that Love is immortal. Use the candles to celebrate the lives of those you know, or once knew, even if you can’t be with them.
  5. Connect with those who may be grieving, in any way you can.
  6. Decorate your home in the style of someone you love who has crossed over, and who loved decorating while here in the physical.
  7. Plan and carry out at least one random act of kindness – an act (as performed by the gentlemen in Ft. Lauderdale, mentioned above) that a departed loved one would be thrilled to witness.
  8. Carry and conduct yourself in a way that makes people smile.
  9. Call or visit those to whom you feel a special connection. Consider a FaceTime phone call if you have that smartphone capability.
  10. Know always in your heart that your loved ones who have crossed over hear you, and celebrate with you in joy as you think of them during the holiday season.

One of the messages from our DPs that I often receive and pass along is that they want us to ENJOY this wonderful time of the year. They do NOT want us to be brooding over the fact that they are not here in the physical. I can tell you for sure that if your DPs loved this holiday season, then they will be around you during this holiday season. Take a moment each day to reflect, open up, and listen – and know that your DPs are near.

BIG thanks for all those who have been attending my many events this year, or who have connected in other ways. A special thanks to all those who attended my event in New York City last week with my good friend and colleague, John Holland. Check out my website for details on upcoming events for 2015!

From my heart, I wish all of you a merry and wonderful holiday to remember!

Siblings and Friends

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Welcome to August! As astrology buffs know, the majority of August is ruled by Leo, and currently Jupiter is in Leo, giving us a double jolt of energy. This should be most welcomed by many because as I have been hearing from friends and acquaintances, it’s been a difficult period especially for Leo’s. So now is the time to enjoy! What is summer for but to have a little fun! All work and no play, and all that.

In my work, I have noticed that sibling relationships are so very important. They can go a long way toward creating a positive effect in times of trouble and stress, or go to the other extreme if there are conflicts, especially with regard to parents who are in need, or pass away.

As I was pondering the siblings dynamic and starting to write about it, I learned that August 1 was National Girlfriends Day. This really rang a bell because when I am doing readings, I feel that a sister has passed when it is in fact a best girlfriend who has crossed over.

As we all know, for many women, girlfriends can be like sisters. A group of girlfriends I read about come from miles around to meet once a month and share about their marriages, children, parenting, job changes, death of loved ones, illnesses, etc. Through the article, you could feel the love between these girlfriends, and see how their meetings and pot-luck dinners gave each of them a heartfelt experience so needed when going through life. There is no question that this kind of connection is so very important for many women.

So within days of reading the article and wanting to write about siblings, voila, I had a session with three sisters whose mother had passed away. As the mother came through loud and clear, it was obvious that these sisters had remained very connected even though they lived so far apart. And their love of each other continued after their mother’s passing. There was no bickering or fighting over money, property, or other things. Keeping the love bond and remaining respectful of each other like this, is a wonderful way to honor the memory of a parent who has passed, while remaining true to the parent’s wishes.

This month, while visiting my own mother, I learned that our 86 year old neighbor whom we have known for over 30 years had lost his wife of 35 years. All six of her children by a previous marriage were already fighting over every conceivable thing, and totally disregarding their step-dad. The siblings were deciding on their own how their mother should be buried where, who should pay, who would get all the stuffed animals amassed in the house, etc., etc. My heart truly went out to my neighbor. No surviving spouse should have to contend with this type of conflict, or left out of the decision making process.

I had another session with a couple that came to me. The wife had just loss her mom and her brother was deeply upset for not being there, even though he had the most legitimate of reasons: he had been caring for his dying wife 4,000 miles away. The sister wanted him to know that their mother wanted nothing more than for him to be where he needed to be. Thankfully another brother stepped up to help his sister with their mom. Kudos to these three siblings for being so supportive of each other while honoring their widowed mother who had been able to live in her own home and lead a quality life until it was time for her to make the transition. Too often, as I and am sure you have seen, the chore of caring for an aging parent often falls on one sibling, while the others abdicate their responsibility.

These sibling scenarios serve as testament to how things play out in the grand scheme of life. All part of the challenges that — if we handle them correctly — make us stronger. Of course, we often have to dig deep to succeed, but we grow spiritually in the process, and that is its own reward.

I hope to come back to this theme of siblings since I have just tapped the surface here. Interestingly enough, I very often have siblings who come together for a session. I am always fascinated by how siblings can be so different, even though they were brought up in the same household. It for me is always a touching experience when siblings want to share in the experience of connecting with a parent who has crossed over.

In closing, I want to send out loving thoughts to my dear friend Richie who made his transition this month. Truly a beautiful soul who touched many a life.

Enjoy the rest of summer, and if you have a brother or sister, take a moment to reminisce about childhood and go find a sandbox to play in!

April Showers Bring May Flowers

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“Sweet April showers do bring May flowers,” as the rhyme and metaphor by Thomsa Tusser goes. For the sake of my garden, I couldn’t be happier with that truism. As my family, friends, and followers know, I am a serious gardener. But beyond its literal meaning, this simple phrase could be a metaphor for life. When we focus intently on something we want to either nourish or manifest in our lives, we “shower” attention on our selected aspect, and those precious thoughts can indeed begin to flower into reality.

“Thoughts are things,” as Edgar Cayce used to say, but we can never forget to sow those seeds in the physical, to allow those April showers to do their part and help turn seeds into flowers, plants, veggies, etc.!

It is always wonderful for me to recognize when expressions coined such a long time ago emerge as meaningful now. Often featured among many of the cultures that have handed down their words of wisdom, generation after generation, is the “Grandmother Storyteller.”

The story telling ritual has existed for centuries in native communities as sacred oral history. The image of the Grandmother Storyteller is a symbol of the times when grandmothers gathered the native children in a circle to teach and share with the youngsters, through the tribe’s own stories. The circle was a place within which to impart myths, legends, traditions, ancestral tales, and ultimately the wisdom of the people. How wonderful!

I’m sure many of you remember the stories passed down from your own grandmothers to you directly, or perhaps through your mom. A wonderful way to bestow hidden knowledge about the family history, ancestry, and environments.

Speaking of passing down family traditions and history, in Japan an ancient belief is that people are held responsible for their ancestors’ deeds and actions. In short, although Karma is significant in many other cultures, the belief here is that Karma is passed down to succeeding generations of family members. Given that we often reincarnate with the same groups of people, and at times within the same family tree, this Japanese philosophy has a ring of truth.

On pearl of wisdom I like to pass along from my own teachers is that we, while in spirit, chose our parents. Which sometimes may beg the question, “Why would I choose them?” One short answer of course is to grow spiritually. For a more detailed explanation, please see my book, Everything Happens for a Reason. There I have tried my best to pass along many of the important messages that have come to me in my work, and thus in my own way honor the tradition of Grandmother Storyteller. For you never know when your own words of wisdom will make a difference in someone’s life. It’s very tough to predict, but it’s not uncommon.

Here’s one prediction I can make will full confidence. April showers are going to bring May flowers for all the mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, and everyone this coming Mothers Day.

But that’s next month. Right now, let’s live in the moment and enjoy April! Spring is finally here!

The Month of Love

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Happy Month of the “Heart!”

Oh how Love inspires us to do things we might not otherwise attempt. And I do mean Love, not Love that is confined to being “in love,” but the Love that all of us would express to and for those to whom we are so emotionally attached: our significant others, parents, children, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, etc. And let us not forget our friends, including our best friends of the two- and four-legged variety. All those with whom we share the intimate aspects of our lives, and connect through the heart, are Love connections.

Love not only inspires romantic novels, movies, music, and poems, but also our behavior. Did you know that a mother walrus will risk her own life to defend her cub against a hungry bear who is starving and wants to kill and eat her cub? Among poverty stricken humans, it is quite common for parents to go without so their children can be clothed and fed. Love, my friends, is a powerful force – the most powerful force in the world, in my view – and the one that drives all of us in one way or another.

I recently came upon selected writing I had in my files about the power of Love. I’d like to share this passage written by William Law, 1948.

“When Love is the spirit of your life, it will have the freedom and universality of a spirit; it will always live and work in Love, not because of this or that, here or there, but because the spirit of Love can only Love, where ever it is or goes, or whatever is done to it. As the spark knows no motion but that of flying upwards, whether it be in the darkness of night, or in the light of day, so the spirit of Love is always on the same course; it knows no difference of time, place or person; but whether it gives or forgives, bears or forebears, it is equally doing its own delightful work, equally blessed from itself.”

What I find so purely wonderful and inspiring in this writing is the recognition of Love as Spirit, invoking its own powerful energy. It is quite accurate to say that Love has a life of its own, and as we tap into Love and breathe it in, Love’s own light can guide and direct our lives with passion. (You can read more of the writings of William Law, here.)

When I look into the eyes of someone who has lost a loved one, I see that a part of them is missing, that part being the Love that was felt when the loved one was here in the physical. To get through the grieving process – and yes, it is a process – we must dig very deep within our souls, and bring that light of Love back into our hearts. Not a easy task, but a necessary one. As I often say, “Love never dies,” it just changes form. We must learn how to connect with our loved ones in Spirit in a different way. That is where my work comes in. And I am honored to be able to assist. But we all can help ourselves by recognizing that death does not destroy the Love connection. We need to open up and listen to our hearts. Yes this can be a mighty big leap for some, but I have never met anyone who regretted reconnecting with a loved one in Spirit. You need faith in the beginning, and trust. Then once you experience the reconnection of Love, well, there is nothing like it! Immortality is validated.

I would be remiss here if I did not mention that we celebrate “Valentine’s Day” this month, so for all you lovers out there, enjoy! Remember also not to get too caught up in the commercialization and materialism that besets all of our holidays. Keep in prominence not only the Love for your significant other, family, and friends, but also of Nature, even if it’s only a moment taken to appreciate the sun or a snowflake.

It is my hope that you will experience that spark, as you open your heart to receive the spirit of Love!

During the approach to Spring – yes guys, despite the frigid temperatures here in the Northeast and elsewhere, time-wise, March 21st is right around the corner – I hope to see many of you in my travels to: Florida, St. Louis, Louisiana, Connecticut, Tucson, L.A., Denver, Portland, Seattle, etc. Check my calendar for details.

Have a wonderful month of Love and while you’re at it, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.

Springtime Reflections and Connections

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It’s May! Time to smell the flowers!

Of course, joy will be more tempered for us here in the Northeast this season, in light of recent events, including the wonderful people of Boston being victimized at their beloved Marathon, and the lockdown that followed. Tragically, it was a reminder of how life can change in a moment, or “on a dime,” as the old expression has it.

I had been asked last year if I would do a fund raiser in the Boston area for Liam Nation, a organization that helps children with Down syndrome and autism. Hey, I love Boston and do a couple of events a year there, and since this is a great cause, I agreed.

As fate would have it, my appearance there turned out to be right after the bombing. It was touch and go for a while whether I’d be able to get into the Boston area, but one thing I knew for sure: Boston needed all the healing it could receive during this time. So I persevered and fortunately was able to get thru.

I couldn’t help but feel a special connection to the people of Boston as the tragedy came with such an intensity, bringing me back to the unspeakable 9/11 horrors in New York City over a decade ago. Back then, and in Boston recently, so many people did manage to bond together to help heal their cities.

Once again, it is the loved ones left here in the physical realm who must deal with the loss and pain, and to make sense of it all. And once again, I get emails about my book, Everything Happens for a Reason. People ask, what was the reason for this tragedy?

My response is always the same. I can’t give you the specific reasons for everything that happens, but what this is about is our own souls’ processes and journeys.

And of course it could have been worse. I heard one officer say that although it was so painful for those who were directly victimized, and their families and friends, many more might have been injured or killed. Indeed, I got to speak to a number of families and connected to those who had lost limbs. Courageously, they said that they were happy to be alive.

As you know, my work is about the living – those who are still here, processing their pain and grief. It is important to remember that our loved ones who have crossed over are fine and well on the Other Side. We who are left here actually have the tougher job.

It helps to know deep in our souls that we don’t die, and that our loved ones want us to open our hearts to them, and to watch and listen for the signs they will send. We just have to work at being open. We have to figure out the way or the ways DP (dead person) contact works for us, and let it happen. Trust me, they are many ways, as I discuss in my books.

Remember, the more you are open to communication to the Other Side, the better the chances of maximizing your DP connections. Love is the vehicle. Heed the words of John Lennon: “All you need is Love.”

In closing, please let me note that I’m doing my Mothers Day event once again this year for WXLO, outside Boston. I hope to see many of you there. I also look forward to returning to Chicago and Denver.

Thank you all who attended my Connecticut event, which is always so special.

Special memoirs and tips for Holidays

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We’re coming up to the end of another year, and boy what a year it has been! It is always my hope that in the middle of all the hoopla that surrounds us in the world today, we remember what is truly important — connecting with the people we love and remaining positive. Of course I am not implying that this is easy, especially lately with all the financial turmoil here and abroad. But what I’m saying is that through all the fears, it is important to see all the positives — the people and things that remain important in our lives.

Like being with family and friends. This is especially important with children nowadays since they are so distracted by video, audio, and electronic gadgetry, to the point where nothing seems to hold their interest outside of their high-tech toys. I just recently read an article in one of those Nature magazines that focus on endangered species. It was written by a photographer who travels all over to the greatest natural parks and wildlife preserves. He shared in the article that while flying on a plane recently, he sat next to a young obese boy who was about ten years old. On the plane, the boy immediately took to playing with his electronic toy. What struck the photographer was that even while they were flying over the Grand Canyon — one of the most spectacular sights in the world — not once did the boy want to lift his head from his game to look out the window to see this awe-inspiring natural site. The photographer went on to share that for him, the greatest memories were those when he was with his father camping, fishing, and taking walks up the mountainside — enjoying Nature to its fullest. These memories more than anything else remained the strongest in his mind. Unfortunately, boys like that are now themselves an endangered species.

Remember the scenes of our families gathering during the holidays? I bet most of us can remember those connections even more than the presents we received. For matters of the heart are always with us. They truly never leave. Those special moments of connection stay with us we pass through life, forever sealed in our memories.

An elderly woman working in Utah told a story of when she was a child during the Great Depression. She said it was one of the most fun times of her life! Friends gathered to play games constantly. They shared meals, laughed, took walks on the beach (she was from California), had sunset parties, and generally cherished every moment. That’s how these folks survived the Depression. To be sure, they took to heart that message from FDR: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” And they could always remember how special those times of sharing were while they chose to have fun despite their situational environment.

With all this as backdrop, there are some simple but meaningful things I’d like you to consider assigning yourself to do during the holidays — to give back and say thanks:

  1. Hug those you love and those who need love. Thank them for being in your life.
  2. Stop DOING and just BE at least once every day. Create and then touch the magic.
  3. Purchase candles to burn throughout the month to celebrate your loved ones in spirit.
  4. Plan and carry out random act of kindness, perhaps one that was dear to a loved one in spirit.
  5. Visit friends. Invite those who could use a meal over for dinner. Connect with as many as possible!
  6. Decorate your house in a way that reflects your beliefs. Remember, angels don’t have to just go on the top of the tree — they can go on a mantle or table with flowers or photos.

Take a moment . . . cherish it . . . respect it . . . and keep it close to your heart. The special moments will remain in your heart, and in the hearts of those you love, forever.


 

Happy Thanksgiving

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I just got back from over a week of events in Southern California, and I wanted to personally thank everyone for making me feel so welcome. Folks showed up that haven’t seen me in ten years!

It was equally special to meet so many of you at my Cromwell Ct. event as well. It’s been a wonderful fall, getting to meet many of you for first time and reconnect with those I haven’t seen in years. I want to thank Danny and Zack from K92 bringing me back to Roanoke for another Hope for the Holidays. It was always my honor to bring laughter, hope and love to those who attended.  EVeryone went out of their way to give me that southern hospitality.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I – like many of you, I’m sure – can’t believe that Thanksgiving is right around the corner! Here is another chance to give to those that simply need a place to feel loved, and to feed the soul as well as the body. After all, that really is what “thanks-giving” is: reaching out for those that want to share and spend time with loved ones, or those that don’t have loved ones or even a place to go. I remember years ago on Thanksgiving, a friend of mine put together as many meals as her car would hold, and went to all the places in the city where people were homeless, to give them one unbelievable meal.

I couldn’t help feeling the sense of family while I was in Southern California. Firstly, it is November – not only the time of the Thanksgiving holiday, but also the month that both of my uncles passed over, as well as my beloved grandmother. For my mother, this is always a difficult month. The other reason why this sense was so strong for me is that my grandmother lived in San Diego, a city that continues to have a strong place in my heart, even after many years.

The first time I went to San Diego was when I was five years old. My grandmother had four children (which was very common in that generation) and raised them on the farm, and her wish was to have one in the hospital! To say she was/is strong would be quite an understatement. After leaving my grandfather – also quite difficult in those days – she saw an ad in the local newspaper from a woman who was looking for a companion to go across the country with her to California. My grandmother read the ad, and as they say, the rest is history! She lived the rest of her life in San Diego, a place she absolutely loved. Not long after, my uncles followed, leaving only my mother back east, essentially in the same small town she was raised in.

Spending two weeks in Southern California and feeling my grandmother’s presence, with wonderful memories, was very heartwarming to me. She not only was someone I truly admired, but in some ways, I hope that some of her qualities – being a strong, independent, good woman – were passed down to me.

Now, I know that holidays can bring up wonderful thoughts, and some not so wonderful ones . . . however, it is a great time to make connections with those here and on the Other Side. So, enjoy the people with whom you want to share this special time, and be thankful for the many blessings we all have. It’s not so out of our realm to set a place at the table for your DP’s – they don’t take up much room and, well, with them there’s lots of leftovers! For me, and for most of us, I would say without question when you use some family recipes or dishes that are meaningful to your DPs, or just include your them in your thoughts during this thankful holiday, they will be there in spirit with you. All this just adds to the time spent together with family and friends. Again, it really is a time to give thanks for all your blessings, and send out prayers for those who could use a loving touch.

Warmly,

Suzane