forgiveness

The Importance of Forgiveness

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August clearly has to be for many, a favorite month. “Summertime, and the Living is Easy,” as the song goes. A good time to unwind and enjoy life a bit more, feel young again while enjoying all those summer activities we did as children, back then perhaps with our loved ones who have since made their transition.

I know our DPs have a hand in showing us the beauty of Nature. Maybe you came from a family of fisher-people, sharing meals over a campfire under the sky, eating the fish that your mom just caught with lures your grandfather had made. Or perhaps your uncle was an avid bird watcher, and could whistle their sounds, and caw like a crow.

I might also remind some of you who say you’re city people, Teddy Roosevelt was raised in NYC. When he became sick, his father took him to the Adirondacks which is where he learned his love of Nature. The result is well . . . without saying, you should check out the amount of land he protected which led to the creation of the National Park, amazing for a so-called New York City boy! I would encourage anyone with “i-Generation” children (Hey! Did I just coin that term?) to encourage them to put down their i-everything’s (iPhone, iPad, etc.), and let them experience an incredible day or week in Nature – a wonderful way to experience or recapture the magic of youth.

I would also suggest that you never forget your childhood and mature dreams and visions. You have them for a reason, and part of the mystery is to figure out that reason.

One way I have found to connect to those dreams and visions is to take a walk through the woods, or ride in a quiet canoe or sailboat, or just gaze at the stars or a beautiful sunset. Of course, all oceans, lakes, and ponds are also part of Nature, and all so beautiful – unless of course the polluters have ruined things. But thank heavens for the environmental movement of which Teddy Roosevelt would be proud. We should all seek to preserve Mother Nature’s majesty and beauty. I have always believed, as many others do, that Nature is God’s true church and temple. Connect with Nature and you will be empowered, for Nature’s essence is empowering. I know with so many of you that I may be preaching to the choir, but it is worth remembering and reflecting on the fact that the Earth feeds and houses us, and provides much joy in our lives-we should never take that for granted. Rather . . . love, cherish and honor the Mother who provides so much for all of us.

On another subject, I wanted to personally share something that I recently experienced, involving the passing of one of my friends whom I’d known for forty years. Sometimes, during a session of mine, someone who has lost a loved one will quite literally yell at them for not taking care of themselves, and therefor allowing himself or herself to die before their time. Yes, people sometimes do get angry when a loved one passes. With my friend, I couldn’t believe how some folks sat in judgment of her decisions and actions that may indeed have contributed to her passing, but honestly who knows?

My friend’s soul of course knows her path but who else should be there to judge, or more accurately, condemn? As they say, “Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” Or, to put it another way, “You can’t really understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Or, as Jesus himself said, “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone,” and “Judge not, lest you be judged!”

In any case, I must say it really threw me to witness all the anger and resentment because my friend was to me an amazing woman. One of the most independent and talented people you’d ever want to meet. Always up . . . maybe a bit too much for some folks, and yes, a Peter Pan aspect as well. But all in all, a good soul. She gave of herself to many, me included, sometimes with others to her detriment financially. However, the generosity she showed was rewarded at the end when so many people gave back to her when she got sick. When her time came, she didn’t burden anyone with her illness, said she was going to heaven, went to sleep, and passed peacefully.

It is so easy to sit in judgment of someone else’s life, decisions, or actions. We all do it now and again, whether we realize it or not, every time we say something like, “What in the world was he thinking?” But negative things happen in life, and like the old fashioned photographs, we develop from the negative.

Trust me, no deed or action or even thought goes unnoticed by Spirit. Of course it’s not easy for us to not be judgmental, myself included, but it’s important to try and minimize that tendency and especially to avoid condemnation of the person. Easier said than done but we should all try to be conscious of all walks of life, and to be caring even if it’s just with a smile.

And never forget that energy or Love does radiate and does make a difference. So, be as loving as you can.

On that note . . . think summer! Fun! And being free of whatever holds you back from having fun. Enjoy life in this glorious month of August. Remember God loves you when you work, but really loves you when you know how to play!

Matters of the Heart

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Happy matters of the heart month! And when I say “matters of the heart,” I mean ALL matters of the heart. Not just your steady or current Valentine.

Every one of our relationships involves matters of the heart, since in one way or another we are all affected emotionally by our interactions with others. And in many ways these interactions can serve as a barometer of our true selves, if we are willing to be open and grow.

Anyone who has dealt with someone who cannot be open realizes that there is little hope to grow in the relationship. We must at times make ourselves vulnerable – but of course be careful with whom you so engage. I realize how hard this can be but when we truly open ourselves, we have the greatest chance of honest transformation.

We know without question that people do die of a broken heart. So, it should come as no surprise how important matters of the heart actually are.

And of course, as I have said many times, our loved ones in Spirit, our DPs, maintain a continuing heart connection with us from the Other Side. Love does not end with physical death. Love facilitates my work.

Even short passing relationships can impact our hearts. Often, I’ve been awestruck during moments shared with clients – be it in a group, with a couple, or in a one-on-one setting. Those interactions have in so many ways transformed me, and helped me view life from different perspectives.

Interesting, too, how times of conflict and heartache can lead to a greater understanding. Indeed, trials and tribulations can push us in a direction we might not otherwise head. Along the way, if we open our hearts to change, healing and transformation are possible – even though the end result may not align with where we thought we wanted to be.

I have leaned that how we think about what we may want in our lives, is often influenced by our relationships with others, and how we feel about them in our hearts. As many of us have experienced, moments of change often occur as a result of our connection to another person(s), as well as how we travel along our spiritual paths. We are, without question, wired for connecting to others.

A relevant quote on relationships that I recently came upon follows. It’s from Angela Wilson MA, RYT.

From birth, we require connection to survive. Babies who don’t receive enough physical contact and emotional responsiveness are at higher risk for behavioral, emotional, and social problems. They cry more and sleep less. At its extreme, babies who are neglected and not touched often don’t survive. Human contact and engagement is as fundamental to our survival as food and water.

The impact of relationships on positive brain development goes well beyond infancy and far into adulthood. Studies show that certain types of therapies can change the brains of people with depression, borderline personality disorder, and trauma. A therapeutic relationship can produce changes in the brain equivalent to and sometimes lasting longer than medication. These studies point to the power of relationships to heal the mind.

Intuitively, this makes sense. Our biggest wounds most likely happen in relationships.

I have talked and written about how losing a parent or sibling when you were a child affects your relationship choices later. Heartbreaking. However, by connecting with our DPs, we can close the void that occurs when those relationships are severed at our early age. As long as we are willing to be open and listen.

We also need to be able to forgive. When our friends, family, and/or other loved ones hurt us, we need to be ready to move past it, especially if they are sincerely sorry. When this happens, the relationship can be transformative. The heartache can be healed. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver and the forgiven.

On the flip side, if you are the offender, there is (of course) no guarantee that the one you’ve hurt will accept your apology, and forgive. That is sad, because the inability to forgive may trigger the end of the relationship. However, it’s important to try and stretch ourselves and apologize when necessary, and/or accept the apologies that come our way. Most of the time, following such a path will create a rewarding outcome.

To be sure, one of the most important relationships we have as adults is our relationship with the children in our lives – whether or not we are a parent in the biological sense.

I have had many discussions with people who personally experienced the loss of a child, and perhaps suffered along with the kids through their attention deficit disorder (ADD), autism, bi-polar personality, etc. while they were here on Earth. Naturally, because of what I do as a medium, my personal dealings are after the fact of whatever happened here while the children were in their bodies. But I am honored to be able to work at connecting those children who are now Spirit to their parents (and others) who have suffered this heartbreaking loss, and are now healthy and well on the Other Side.

I’d like to share with you information on a professional who has done worldwide research on The Children of Now – Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey, Ph.D. I had Ms. Blackburn on my show recently. In case you missed the show, you can listen here. I would strongly advise anyone who wants to have some insight into the children of today, to please read Dr. Losey’s book. It’s a cliché but true that . . . it is “Our children who will inherit the earth,” and it is also our responsibility as adults to aid in that journey.

I know that during our journeys, each of us has had Valentine celebrations in school, and/or with a young sweetheart, and/or with families, etc. And the tradition still goes on.

Here’s hoping your matters of the heart on Valentine’s Day, and all days, involve Love.