family

Matters of the Heart

by

Welcome to the month of the heart, February! A special thanks to St. Valentine.

It’s been shown to me over and over again, how deeply we are all affected by matters of the heart. When a loved one crosses over, our physical heart’s can actually experience pain. Hence the phrase, “a broken heart.” From my work, I have learned that “matters of the heart” are so very important, not only to us here in the physical, but to our loved ones on the Other Side as well.

My work is about the living. Our loved ones who have crossed over are fine and want very much for us to know that they are well. Why? Because they LOVE us.

Connecting with our loved ones in Spirit helps us experience their continuing love for us. Their focus in letting us know that they are fine on the Other Side is about their love for us. Matters of the heart continue on the Other Side.

Our hearts will ache when we lose a loved one, and we need to process the grief. There is no magic wand to eliminate that journey. We can’t flippantly dismiss the event. It is a path we all must walk.

What I get so often from loved ones in Spirit is that they want us to remember the good times spent together – when we laugh, hugged, or just hung out enjoying each other’s company. Those memories are ours to keep and no one can take them away.

So many DPs (dead persons) tell me that they do NOT want us to focus on the illness that took their life, or feel guilty that we didn’t do enough for them, or be sad if we were not there at the time of their death. If you were not there at your loved one’s passing, it was their choice that things end that way, a choice God gives to all of us.

Another thing that God gives us is the power to enjoy. And love. So enjoy life! And love. Treasure all matters of the heart, the warm loving times, the tender moments, the memories that make you smile, and the one that are so funny that remembering them makes you pee your pants.

Love is and remains the single most significant mental, emotional, spiritual and physical state that we all have. Without it, we would not be human.

One thing I love is when mothers give Valentine cards not only to the fathers of their children, but also to their sons and daughters. I bet that many of you would enjoy going through that old chest of memories your mom has kept and find, amongst other things, the Valentine’s Day cards she has received from you and others over the years.

Another of my favorite things is to travel and connect or reconnect with you wonderful folks. My heart sings when I focus on this aspect of my work. It’s always been something that has been special for me.

Speaking of connecting, I look forward to returning to Florida this month. This year, besides doing groups and an event at the Metaphysical Chapel of Southern Florida, I also will be doing a one day workshop. I am so looking forward to it. Later, I’ll be returning to Lafayette, Louisiana, and St. Louis for the The Sixth Annual Afterlife Conference. Among my other southern stops, I’ll be returning to the Edgar Cayce Association for Research and Enlightenment in Virginia Beach, Virginia this fall. Northern folks, not to worry as I’ll be back to Cromwell, CT in April, doing a special Mother’s Day event with Thomas John in NYC in May, and returning again to wonderful Canyon Ranch in Lenox, MA in March. Please check my calendar for complete details.

How I love sharing matters of the heart!

Connections, Loss, and Love in the Holiday Season

by

Hope you had a very Happy Thanksgiving, and embraced those precious moments of “Giving Thanks.” Words that say how blessed we are to have family and friends in our lives. Personally, I find these words and the intent behind them to be very uplifting, especially during times of uncertainty.

Very heart-warming and validating to learn that in a study recently published by “Mother Jones,” the number one reason for feeling grateful is friends and family. Indeed, it is the people in our lives who are so important.

And then there are times when we are grateful for not having suffered the way others have, as with the recent inhuman atrocities inflicted on the people of Paris. So sad.

But despite all the war, terror, and violence in the world, Love, of course, remains the most significant force in the Universe. Some would argue that fear is the most powerful, and there is no denying that here on Planet Earth, fear is often in control. However, fear has no power in the Spirit World. On the Other Side, Love is controlling, and connects us to our loved ones who have crossed over. Fear is powerless in that regard.

And even here on Earth in ordinary reality, Love is very powerful, being the force that motivates people to help those in need – be it assisting the homeless in New York City, the refugees in a foreign land, the sick or the dying in our neighborhood, etc. Love is the force that drives the husband who has lost his partner and chooses to travel around the world when there is a season to plant, and instruct those who want to learn organic gardening. Or the sister who continues operating the shelter her brother ran after he contracted MS, and now has trouble just getting out of bed.

You never have to look far to find people who give of themselves, in service of humankind and the Earth that cares for us. For these folks, we should all be thankful. And in your own moments of feeling thanks and gratitude, consider asking yourself, “How can I can embrace Spirit and learn to feel the love of [your beloved DP]?” And further, remember to be thankful for whatever it is your beloved DPs have instilled in you. NO MATTER if the DP most special in your heart at this moment was blood-related or just someone who touched your life for a split second. Whatever it takes to pull the energy in from Spirit, and help us connect with those we love who are still in our hearts – let that be our guidance and inspiration.

It is so wonderful that given all the hardship in the world, there still are so many people who do seek to make a difference. It is this kind of activism – and not all the distorted media focus on all things negative – that I choose to honor and acknowledge.

Let’s take the opportunity to open up our hearts to those we love, give a hug when needed, and make a call to someone who needs to talk. Help someone cross the street or carry their groceries. Light candles for those in need, including ourselves. Make dinner for someone who could use a meal. Give of yourself, of your company. All, of course, if the situation warrants. These are just some of the many small things that mean so much and, as I say, are really the BIG things in life, which I have learned over and over again in doing the work I have been doing for over thirty-five years.

You know, whenever I am working an event and walk into a room, whether it is 50 or 250 people, I know one thing: Everyone is there because they want to connect with their loved ones who they have “lost.” But they are not really lost, are they? They have simply transitioned to where we will all transition one day, and reunite. As I always say, Love never dies, not even with death, and so it is my great honor and privilege to be able to reconnect people with the loved ones they have “lost,” especially during the holiday season.

Around this time of year, I often think about a Christmas when I was in my twenties, on my own, and by myself. I was living in Los Angeles at the time and I was invited into a group. I went, so as to not be alone. I can’t tell you how much love I felt, just being asked to be with others who wanted to include me within their circle of friends. I have never forgotten that special moment which turned out to be within a non-denominational spiritualist community. Another example of how we all remember an act of love and kindness. It is moments like this that we never forget. Looking back, I couldn’t tell you any of the names of the people there, but I most certainly can tell you how they made me feel. Wonderful!

In re-examining the past year, and the years leading up to this time, I see that so many people have gone through a variety of changes, some wonderful, others often challenging. There is a great challenge of course for those of us who have lost someone this year, or for anyone during the holiday season when we are again reminded of our loved ones on the Other Side..

Interesting how many people I’ve met in my travels express that during times of hardship, DP contact is more prevalent and intense. Indeed, if we listen, our DPs (along with our spirit guides and spirit helpers) can help us find what is really important – like performing a service for others – and inspire us to put “doing good” at the top of our list of priorities. Performing a service is good for the soul.

By the way, for the science-minded folks, studies now show that people are happier, healthier, and live longer when they do service for others, and daily express their gratitude for all the gifts they have in their own lives. On this point, there is a very interesting documentary called I am. Check it out!

Also check out my calendar of events. Next up on my calendar is seeing my hometown folks on Friday, December 4th in Nanuet, NY. Also, on my next Blog Talk Radio show – Monday, December 7 – I will be having a full hour of readings live on air! This is my special holiday gift to all of you.

Have a blessed holiday season!

A Time for Giving Thanks

by

Welcome to the month of Thanksgiving, a time for giving thanks, and perhaps feeling the need to give back for the blessings we have.

As we approach the holidays, so many emotions come to the surface, along with memories past, and memories in the making.

Memories are personal to each of us, of course, and we all feel varied emotions when reflecting on days gone by, whether moments of sadness as when a loved one who has crossed over is missed, or at times touched in some other way we know is truly important. Wanting so badly to go back to that time when everything seemed right, is commonplace.

It’s been my experience that when our DPs come into our thoughts, a flood of emotions usually rises to the surface. If grief is in play, try to move to a place where your grief will lessen, focusing on the positive memories you had with a loved one who is now on the Other Side. Remember, our DPs want us to be happy.

Those special memories are always with you, and can be be filled with laughter. Maybe you remember having that Thanksgiving dinner when your brother wore that stupid tie to try to impress his new girlfriend. Or maybe that time your sister and her girlfriend tried to create a meal and there was so much smoke in the kitchen that the Fire Department showed up commenting that they were sure you were cooking up something other than dinner!

When we go to those wonderful memories, they can touch and heal our hearts, and once again make us smile. No one can ever take those from you. They are yours to cherish and hold dear.

Some of you may feel very strongly that you don’t want to celebrate the holidays. The thought process being that the times gone by were priceless, and that the present situation is just an empty echo of the past. But, let me preach here for a minute. Don’t you dare give in to that attitude! If you really want to honor those who have passed, then celebrate as they would have wanted you to. Realize that although your DPs may not be here in the physical, they are with you in Spirit. And again, they want you to be happy.

The DPs we honor include, of course, our beloved pets who gave us unconditional love before crossing over. Here’s a story about one. I recently was on a radio show and a techie there was listening to me on the air. The deejay asked me who I thought was going to win the World Series. I try never to make predictions publicly so I said, “I’ll tell you what I think, privately,” and he wrote what I said on a piece of paper for no one else to see. But, as luck or faith would have it, the paper fell onto the floor and the tech guy picked it up and saw that I had said that the Kansas City Royals would win, as would turned out to be accurate later – KC beat the NY Mets. So, the deejay said, “Oh, she meant the first two games,” which was not true – I meant the whole series. Well, the tech guy was already devastated with the Mets having lost Game 1 when they were two outs away from winning on the road. Then everyone shared why he was so devastated. He is a HUGE Met fan and had just lost his beloved dog Shea who had been named after Shea Stadium where the Mets used to play before Citi Field was built. Of course, had I known of the techie’s situation, I would have said nothing. It was still a very raw time for him. To the techie I could only say, “Your dog Shea will be with you always in your heart and if you can listen inward, she’ll be by your side jumping on your bed, during happy times, and there beside you when you are feeling blue.”

As we approach the beginning of the holiday season, know and feel all the love that we want to give and receive. The ability to share and experience love is with us all the time. We need not go further than walking out our front door realizing that every person could use a smile, a kind word, or just a nod hello, all serving as an acknowledgement that you are connecting on a friendly basis. Remember that it doesn’t cost you anything to be courteous and friendly, or to feel positive in your heart toward another. That, my friends, is a part of what Thanksgiving is all about.

Of course, the most poignant message that we all need to be reminded of is, “Do unto others only that which you would have be done unto you.” This is not without limitations of course – it may be that something you would not mind having done unto you is not right for someone else. So overlay this approach with consideration as to whether the person you are addressing is on the same page as you with regard to that which you are considering doing for them.

I personally want to give a HUGE thanks to those who received me at my recent events in California, including Good Day Sacramento. Also thanks to: Pat Walsh on KFBK; WQRC 99.0 “The Q” on the Cape, Karen and Ralphie; K92 Danny and Zack; and as it has been for years, WTIC with Gary Craig and Gang. There are so many more to list, I could go on and on.

To be able to do what I love, and be able to share that love with so many others, here and those beloved ones in Spirit and in our hearts – I am most thankful.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Rocking Into Fall!

by

Wow! Have we come rocking into Fall! A Blood Moon, eclipses, and to top it off, a visit from the Pope!

You know how I love synchronicities . . . and these early Fall events scream out that something special is going on. Synchronistic connections are wonderful energies that add just a bit to one’s life.

I know I’m not the only one who watched that incredible Blood Moon at the end of September, an event that happens only every 20 or 30+ years! You know that it had to be a huge event because not only was it all over the media, but also shown at football games (and you know how football fans don’t like to be distracted!). The TV people couldn’t help mention it because the Blood Moon hovered over the games . . . way way cool! And this was all going on around the time when Pope Francis was visiting New York City and Philadelphia. My favorite moment was when Pope Francis indicated that “You don’t have to believe in God to go to Heaven.” Gotta love that one!

I know many folks who were very affected by the Pope’s visit to the States. His arrival, presence, and words were so welcome, as was his stance to care and protect children. Of course, we may not agree with all of his words; after all, he is head of the Catholic Church which has its own rules and values. But aside from that, I must say that as I am a true Nature lover, I was so glad to hear the Pope honor Mother Earth with his comments about climate change. Someone in the media couldn’t resist commenting, “What does the Pope know about climate change? He should leave that up to the scientists.” But as it turned out that was a foot-in-the-mouth statement because the critic obviously didn’t know that the Pope has a degree in Science, Chemistry to be exact. Touché! And the Pope’s critic also failed to realize that we can all make our own decisions about how we should treat Mother Nature after reading what all the various scientists and pundits are saying lately? Indeed, “The times they are [once again] a-changin’.”

Naturally, change happens as we transition from one season to the next, but this is especially true in Autumn. Things will be different now from the way they were in Summer. For most, no more visits to the beach and lakes, no Summer vacations, and of course it’s back-to-school-time for the kids. For stay-at-home parents, it might just be the right time for you to take that cooking or painting class. So get out there and do it!

Also gotta love the Fall for the leaves turning colors, which reflects our need to transition mentally, emotionally, and of course physically to adapt to the changing weather and energies.

Recently I went hiking on a path and saw many families out there in Nature together, with parents carrying their precious little ones in backpacks! Some children of course were capable of walking along the trails, and it was great to see them without their iPads and iPhones, and simply experiencing Nature!

Nature! What a wonderful experience it can be to explore for you and your significant other, children, relatives, friends, or even just by yourself. The Nature experience tends to deepen from within. I will tell you that with children, unless they are too young, they will remember their family Nature outings quite fondly. “Daddy, remember when we climbed that big mountain?” And so forth. Great memories!

If you have a loved one with whom you have experienced Nature, but who has now crossed over, you know that the memories continue. No one can ever take that away from you. Such a treasure!

I’m feeling prompted to remind everyone that it’s important but difficult to remember the way a loved one was before they crossed over, or became terminally ill, or was involved in an accident leading to their passing. Know that our loved ones on the Other Side want us to remember them the way they were before things changed at the end. They want you to remember the good moments, the matters of the heart, which keep the Love between you and them alive, despite all the changes in the world.

As we welcome the beautiful Fall with all it’s radiant colors and changes, our lives also will change, for we are ALL affected by energetic happenings.

Speaking of happenings, since this is October, I’d be remiss to not mention that at the end of the month comes Halloween! Also, known as All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints Eve, or Day of the Dead. And it’s not just about pumpkins and apples, and trick-or-treats! In Mexico, and other countries, “Día de Muertos” (Day of the Dead) is the holiest day of year!

Coming up this Fall for me are lot of exciting events. I’ll be heading back to California for two appearances! Firstly, I will be with A.J. Barrera in Irvine on October 10. It’s important to note that we are offering a 20% discount off two tickets, and the first 20 people who register before Thursday, October 8 at 2:00 pm PST will be entered into a raffle for a special gift and meet-and-greet with me and A.J.! In addition, I have a special event, “Discover Gold,” in Cameron Park on October 17. This event also has a special discount of $30 off two tickets, so be sure to take advantage of that! I’ll also be doing an event sponsored by radio WQRC on Cape Cod in Massachusetts on October 27. And I will be be returning to my yearly visit to “Hope for the Holidays” by K92 in Roanoke, VA in November. And of course, returning to Cromwell, CT.

I want extend a special thank you to the folks in Nashville for their warm welcome on September 19! It felt so good being down South, and so, here I come Atlanta on November 14!

A jam-packed October for yours truly. Looking forward to seeing you!

Growing Older, Changing Seasons

by

Yes, September is here, but there’s still time to dive into a lake, pool, or ocean, and do whatever fun things you like to do in the Summer, as there are three more weeks to go before Autumn officially arrives.

As I write, in New York City the forecast is for sunny skies this upcoming week, with temperatures in the 80’s and 90. So I’m sure many of you, like me, are going to hold on to this Summer for as long as you possibly can. No problem with that, but do remember that Fall for many can be the most breathtaking season of them all. So don’t get too sad that Summer is ending – it happens every year! All part of the seasons of life here on Planet Earth.

Why it is that everyone in the Northeast thinks Summer is the shortest season, and Winter the longest? I guess that’s just how it is. Or maybe it’s because. “Time flies when you’re having fun,” and there is more fun to be had in the Summer. In any event, once again we have the changing of the seasons to remind us of own life changes.

I was recently engaged in a conversation regarding how many baby boomers are still not only dealing with their children and their children’s problems, but with elderly parents as well. The aging-parent syndrome reminds us how life, like each season, runs in cycles, especially if you end up taking care of a parent who raised you.

When caretaking for a parent who was difficult to begin with, the job can be even more challenging. And then of course there are the aging-parent families with siblings – so often it seems that only one brother or sister will take on the major caretaking load, while the others virtually disappear. Not really fair. Ideally, the caretaking chore should be shared among siblings. Of course, if you are an only child with an elderly parent in need of homecare, well, things are made all the more difficult.

I would most respectfully suggest that anyone in a parental homecare role focus for a second on those who have parents on the Other Side. Often the surviving children writhe in guilt, feeling and wondering year after year, “Did I do enough?” when their parents were still alive. I see so much of this in my line of work. If I may suggest, better to do what your conscience dictates now, than to stew in guilt afterward.

As Betty Davis once said, “Getting old is not for sissies,” and likewise, I would say that caring for an aging parent is also not for sissies. If you’ve spent a good part of your life raising children, and then have to help care for a spouse who becomes ill, and later have to care for an elderly parent, well, your season of helping will seem like a career. But most likely, that’s what you signed up for before being born, to present you with an opportunity for even more soul growth during this incarnation. See if you can measure up to the challenge, and good luck to you!

I was once asked why most mediums don’t talk about elderly folks who have lost a spouse. I was like, “What?” For this question has a false premise. In my work experience, nothing could be further from the truth. I have encountered many widows and widowers who have lost a spouse of 30, 40, or 50 or more years. Their Love (like all existing Love) goes on after death, as I have said many times. It’s all part of the seasons of our lives.

Although death is often associated with Winter (when the trees lose their leaves and the essence of plant life disappears into the Earth), it actually doesn’t matter in what season a death occurs. Symbolically, it is Winter for those going through the process of grieving over the passing of a loved one. But, as is with Winter, let us not forget that there is beauty in death, as that the soul survives and returns to its natural state in a place many call “Heaven.”

For those of us still alive on this beautiful Planet Earth, let us recognize that it is not Winter yet here in September, 2015. Heck, it’s not even Autumn. There are weeks of Summer to go! For now my friends, enjoy the rest of what has been a beautiful Summer (at least in the Northeast), and as we transition into Autumn, open your mind to let those falling leaves and magnificent colors inspire you to carry on, during the remainder of this, and your next, season of life.

All in the Name of Love

by

July is here in all her glory! Of course July always starts out with bang, quite literally, with all the fireworks going on around most cities and towns in celebration of Independence Day. Hope your Fourth of July was great fun.

New York City, my home town, is known for its fantastic fireworks display over the East River, and the folks in charge really do a bang-up job (sorry, couldn’t resist).

As we know, fireworks are not just for the little ones. Adults also get to smile, laugh, ooooo and ahhhhh, while perhaps remembering memories of past Independence Days, and what those days now mean to them in retrospect.

And then of course for some, there is the specter of a person missing from this year’s festivities, a person who is now in Spirit, and perhaps missing for the first time. A little note about that my dear friends, it’s their bodies that are missing, for in Spirit they are still standing next to you.

Now let’s say that the “missing person” is your dad, uncle, or sibling who was in the military. The 4th could hold many different meanings, depending on that person’s experience, and your own related memories and reactions. Of course, if someone has been lost in war, the feelings of his or her surviving family members may vary, depending on their political perspectives and other factors.

I know that for many, “War is not the answer.” However, it is not my place to say what is right for any one person who is making life choices. What I do know is that, for all, there is a bigger picture and how that picture plays out helps define our paths. None of us can say what is or is not right for another. Whatever a person chooses as his or her path, then as far as I am concerned, so be it. There are issues we must all decide individually. In walking our paths, there will always be learning, sharing, and assessing what is right for each of us.

I have worked with past life regression expert Dr. Brian Weiss on many occasions, and military experiences come up very often during his subjects’ regressions. There is no doubt that a military experience — whatever the outcome — has had a very profound effect on many many lifetimes.

This season, I’ve been reading how so many veterans who suffer from wartime post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTS) don’t do well on July 4th with all the firework flares and explosions reminiscent of a war zone. One more thing to be mindful of as we celebrate the 4th, going forward. Love thy neighbor!

Speaking of Love — the one word that recurs the most in songs and poems, evoking an array of emotions resulting from separation, desire, wants, needs, etc. — have you ever noticed that you don’t hear many songs about hate? Love triumphs magnificently in that regard. The poets and songwriters all yearn to share their thoughts on Love. Not many speak of hate. Why? Because Love is the most important element of our existence.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, the Supreme Court of the United States (lately called SCOTUS) recently decided that couples of the same gender have a constitutional right to marry. So now, that is the law in all 50 states. Whatever your sexual preference, you can now share your love and marry openly. On this most recent Fourth of July, I was proud to celebrate that the country I live in has honored that Love includes the idea that two people of the same gender have the right to marry openly.

I recently saw a show on Broadway — It Shoulda Been You — starring Tyne Daly. She spoke at the end of the performance on the day that SCOTUS decided on the right of gay people to marry. Ms. Daly gave a deeply emotional speech noting that 49 years ago she had married Georg Stafford Brown, a black man. Their marriage was then a violation of law, and it wasn’t until years afterwards that their marriage was acknowledge to be legal. She noted that when the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage nationally, it was for her ‘an acknowledgement of love.’

She couldn’t have said it better.

I have never professed to be a biblical scholar, but from what I do know about the Bible, the greatest message that cuts through is that the Christ consciousness is about Love.

Fortunately, I have spent my entire adult life working and living what I have come to know without question — that Love continues even after death. All love matters, and we will not be judged and condemned according to whom we have shared our love while incarnated on the Earth plane.

John Lennon once lamented retrospectively that his “All You Need Is Love” was not wholly accurate, but for me, the message still rings true.

As always, it is my honor to do what I do in the name of Love.

Happy July!

The Wisdom of Dads

by

Happy June! The month when so much is happening – the start of summer, the end of the school year, weddings, vacations, graduations, and {{{{{drum roll}}}}} Father’s Day!

Recently, I went to my godson’s graduation at the Forman School in Litchfield, CT. This school has been around for 100 years and is focused on helping kids with learning disabilities such as dyslexia and ADHD. At the graduation, Alan Alda, whose grandson was also graduating, spoke. Alan’s speech was eloquent and wise. Every person, young or old, male or female, could truly benefit from his wisdom. Indeed, judging by the vibes and reactions, I believe that many in the audience recognized that they were receiving a gift of life guidance. One thing he said that especially resonated with me was (and I’m paraphrasing), “I can’t give you my seventy years of life. I’m only sharing what I feel have been the important moments or messages of life, as I’ve seen it.”

Alan also noted how that in 2015, the whole world can learn what happened halfway across the globe almost immediately – something no generation except this one has experienced. He also told a very funny story about Kurt Vonnegut, the talented author, who delivered a commencement address in 1997 that became world famous. The only thing was, Kurt didn’t write it! Still, it’s a gem worth repeating, as Alan did at the graduation ceremony I attended.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

I was so thrilled to hear Alan Alda (a father of three and grandfather of eight, according to Wikipedia) read “Kurt’s speech.”

As Alan, and all dads know, June is the month in which we celebrate Father’s Day! In my previous newsletter, I paid special attention to mothers for their day, so I feel it’s only right this month to give kudos to the dads. You know who you are and how important you have been to those whom you love and who love you. I know many of you have felt the weight of the world on your shoulders while caring for and protecting your kids. A very tough job, but hey . . . Congratulations! You did it! And for many, you are still doing it!

For those dads who have lost a child, I present the following which I came across on Facebook, and want to share.

A Dad Hurts Too

People don’t always see the tears a DAD cries,
His heart is broken too when his beloved child dies.
He tries to hold it together and tries to be strong,
Even though his whole world’s gone wrong.
He holds on to her as her tears fall,
Comforts her throughout it all.
He goes through his day doing what he’s supposed to do,
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away too.
So when he’s alone he lets out his pain,
And his tears come down like pouring rain.
His world has crashed in all around him,
All that was bright has gone completely dim.
He searches for answers but none are to be found,
Who offers help a DAD up when he’s hit the ground?
He smiles through his fears,
Struggles trying to hold in his tears.
But what you see on the outside is not always real,
Men don’t always show how they really feel.
He feels he has to be strong for the others,
But DADS hurt too, not just the mothers.

(Original work found here)

Let me close by saying . . . Friends, enjoy all the upcoming wonderful moments of this June, and reflect on the good times of days gone by . . . they are all important. And do wear sunscreen!

Looking forward this June to returning to the Afterlife Conference in Norfolk, Virginia, and returning to New Hampshire. Check out my website for details.

As I write, spring is still here, and it’s Rachel Carson’s birthday. What an amazing gift she left the world, way before her time.

Healing Through Relationships

by

Welcome all to the month when Spring begins. The Spring Equinox is Friday March 20th
, three days after St. Patrick’s Day! Now I know some of you are saying, “Yeah, right! Spring,” given the huge mounds of snow and ice still prevalent. Even where it’s supposed to be warm, it’s cold. I heard even the birds this winter were a bit freaking out! But I assure you, those tiny buds are on the verge of pushing up through the ground! Spring is around the corner.

In life, things move in their own time, for their own rhyme and reason. Most of us humans, of course, want everything now, or yesterday. We forget the most important part of why things often don’t happen so fast, that being . . . we may miss the most important part of the journey, or the reason why this or that is happening. Everything happens for a reason, tho the reason is not always apparent.

While some folks seem to sail through life, often I’ll encounter people who have had many losses over a short period of time. They ask, “Why did this happen to me?” Or, “Why don’t I have good luck?” To be honest, I don’t have all the answers for the why’s of anyone’s life. But I do know that there is a reason for everything. Whatever that reason may be, you know deep inside. That is, your soul has the answer. So often, yes, discovering the reason does require looking deep.

I’ve often said that most of our soul learning happens in relationships. If for some reason you don’t learn with the Earth family you were born into, you will likely learn your lessons with a partner, and perhaps your partner’s family. Or perhaps, you will create a “family” through your friends or mutual interests or causes.

Look around you and notice the people in your life. Do they have strong family connections (which by the way is a concept that extends to cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc.). Or are they very involved in their partner’s family, parents, or in-laws? If you were raised with strong ties to a cousin, he or she can often act a sibling. If they have children of their own, the connection continues with them as your nieces and nephews.

Nowadays, with families living in so many different places, it requires much more work to stay physically connected. But I have to tell you that I meet many folks who make sure they personally connect with family and extended family every year or every other year to keep that relationship going. Also, iPhone and computer photos and videos can help bridge the gap. Folks know the importance of family, and they want that priority to be there for their children as well. This can be especially important with the “only child,” with cousins often becoming sibling substitutes.

Through direct and indirect family relationships, we can know or at least begin to understand what our soul program is all about. It’s so easy to look at another’s seemingly happy life and say, “Why not me?” But, you need only look a bit deeper to see that what is on the outside may not correlate to what is on the inside, and what your program might be. It’s not really about fancy houses or cars or diamonds, or the chenille dresses. I know of someone who had all that and she lost not one but two sons . . . one to suicide!

One of my favorite interviews is when Barbara Walters was questioning Gloria Vanderbilt. Barbara asked Gloria, and I quote, “Why you? Why did you lose a son to suicide?” Gloria’s answer, “Why not? Money never has nor will it ever exempt one from loss.”

In short, not everything is at it appears to be. Just as when we look at all the snow still piled up, we may not see the green coming up from below, but I assure you, it happens every Spring, which is just a couple of weeks away (officially). It’s just like magic! How can one not be amazed at Nature in her presence and beauty? What was once barren gives birth to flowers, leaves, bees a buzzing, and the animals (like us) adding a skip to their step.

So be patient. In life and in season, the change will come. Maybe not how you dreamed it or exactly how you wanted it to happen, but changes will arrive. Meanwhile, count your blessings – that favorite dish on the table, or just sitting down beside the one you love. Sometimes the simplest things are the greatest gifts that can be given, or received.

So come on Spring Equinox. Bring it on!

This Spring – besides being occupied by my seedlings – I am delighted to return to some of my favorite places: Lafayette, LA, Tucson, AZ and my hard core Northeast Connecticut homes.

Looking forward to it all.

A Season of Giving & Gratitude

by

OMG! It’s not even time for the December Solstice and Old Man Winter is already pounding down on the rooftops in the north. I don’t think we’ll be shuffling off to Buffalo anytime soon! Wondering if the children there are worried that Santa will have a problem landing his sleigh! Now, if we could only figure out how to ship all that snow to the places suffering from water shortage.

I’m sure there are many of you who, like me, are tuned into the Earth and are not at all surprised by Old Man Winter’s bringing snow so early. It could be worse. Remember Super-Storm Sandy? Especially since that devastating event in 2012, more and more homeowners are wisely investing in their own generators.

As we approach the end of another year, I ask you: is it me or are things moving so much faster nowadays? Ever hear of Gregg Braden? He’s a very cool inspirational guy who combines wisdom from the past with science and spirituality for healing the planet. Gregg has spent the last twenty years living in ancient temples and remote monasteries. He believes that the center of the earth is moving faster than in any other time in history. Consider looking into the adventures of this spiritual pioneer as we speed toward 2015.

While we usually cherish and celebrate the December Holidays, I can’t help but focus on those who will find this year to be different from all others, when they see that empty chair where a dear loved one used to sit, but who is now on the Other Side. Maybe some of you felt that way this past Thanksgiving. Try not to let your loss impact your joy too much (easier said than done, I know), but instead realize that life is better on the Other Side. Our DPs are fine, and will let you know that all is well, if and when they can. The less sadness you harbor, the easier it will be for your loved ones to connect to you via a dream, message, or a split-second feeling. Remember, Love continues when we die. In fact, my friends, Love in all its many types and intensities remains the most significant force in the Universe. Love is THE force that drives us.

I was just reading about a 90-year old man in Ft. Lauderdale who feeds the homeless. He took to doing so after losing his wife who for all her life helped those who needed that little extra Love. This is his way of honoring the woman with whom he shared 70 years of his life, and to whom he refers as “Angel.” What a wonderful way to give, in this giving time of year.

I received many responses last month about my comments on Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. Thanks for your feedback. I very much appreciate your take on what I write. And even when there is disagreement, it’s still good to share. After all, the Afterlife affects all of us in so many different ways. By sharing our thoughts, we can spread the Word where needed.

Recently, I have been receiving a number of requests to remind people of some of the little things (which are so important) that we can do throughout the holiday season, just to let people know that we care. So, kids, here goes, just to list a few.

  1. Hug those you love and those who need Love. Thank them for being in your life.
  2. Make a list of people (and pets!) to shop for, and/or those you want to touch during the season. Remember that shopping can be for food, plants, clothes, candy, or whatever.
  3. Send out cards, with candle lighting announcements.
  4. Purchase candles to burn throughout the month to remember that Love is immortal. Use the candles to celebrate the lives of those you know, or once knew, even if you can’t be with them.
  5. Connect with those who may be grieving, in any way you can.
  6. Decorate your home in the style of someone you love who has crossed over, and who loved decorating while here in the physical.
  7. Plan and carry out at least one random act of kindness – an act (as performed by the gentlemen in Ft. Lauderdale, mentioned above) that a departed loved one would be thrilled to witness.
  8. Carry and conduct yourself in a way that makes people smile.
  9. Call or visit those to whom you feel a special connection. Consider a FaceTime phone call if you have that smartphone capability.
  10. Know always in your heart that your loved ones who have crossed over hear you, and celebrate with you in joy as you think of them during the holiday season.

One of the messages from our DPs that I often receive and pass along is that they want us to ENJOY this wonderful time of the year. They do NOT want us to be brooding over the fact that they are not here in the physical. I can tell you for sure that if your DPs loved this holiday season, then they will be around you during this holiday season. Take a moment each day to reflect, open up, and listen – and know that your DPs are near.

BIG thanks for all those who have been attending my many events this year, or who have connected in other ways. A special thanks to all those who attended my event in New York City last week with my good friend and colleague, John Holland. Check out my website for details on upcoming events for 2015!

From my heart, I wish all of you a merry and wonderful holiday to remember!

The Importance of Mothers

by

Here in the countryside of New York State, May flowers are slowing starting to show, particularly the daffodils! The buds are taking a bit more time but green is coming up everywhere.

I just returned from Morocco where the flowers are already in bloom, a bit of a difference from here. Of course, the culture, architecture, food, and religion are quite different. But as in the U.S., in Morocco, the family bond is very important, as I learned while staying in Richard Branson’s resort in the Atlas Mountains, Kasbah Tamadot. Simply a very beautiful area with breathtaking views of the land and mountains.

I received an offer to take a Sunday hike that turned out to be fabulous beyond my expectations. The guide Mohamed led me over a mountain, not super-steep, to his village where I was invited into his home for tea. A complete stranger, I was met at the door by Mohamed’s wife and three daughters.

Their home was immaculate even though they had no running water. They did have electricity which was how they were able to get water from the wells to their homes and gardens, via electric pumps.

On the walk back down the mountain, I told Mohamed that he had a beautiful family, and he expressed what a happy man he was. Family is the key. Once again, wherever you go, the bonds of family and the people we love are what is so important to us. It’s really all about matters of the heart.

Speaking of family, what could be more significant than acknowledging all of the mothers and mother figures who take care to nurture the minds, bodies and souls of their children? And as we know, Mother’s Day is on the way.

According to Wikipedia. . . The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Anna then began a campaign to make Mother’s Day a recognized holiday in the United States. Although she was successful in 1914, by the 1920’s Anna had become quite disappointed with the commercialization of the event.

In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases “Second Sunday in May” and “Mother’s Day,” and created the Mother’s Day International Association. She specifically noted that the “Mother’s” in “Mother’s Day” should be “a singular possessive, for each family to honor its mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers of the world.”

What I found especially interesting is that Mother’s Day is not only an American Holiday, but a day that is celebrated all over the world, which is great! All mothers everywhere should be honored for taking care of their children.

And let us not forget one of the most important mothers of all, Mother Earth. For it is she who feeds us, houses us, and provides everything we need in the physical, while impressing our souls with her majestic beauty.

This Mother’s Day, make sure you honor all those women in your life who make a difference . . . and don’t forget to bring the flowers! If you are a mother receiving a well-deserved expression of love, enjoy! If your mom, grandmom, or anyone else who filled the role of mother for you is on the Other Side, don’t forget to send her a message and/or gesture of your continuing love.