It’s March, and the vernal equinox is around the corner, arriving March 22nd. There is beauty in all of the seasons, but poets, artists, singers and gardeners love the Spring.
Most of us, including myself, are biting at the bit waiting for the warm weather to arrive.
Well, it’s just a few weeks away! Get ready!
Although Spring is associated with new beginnings, it’s not always easy to get into that poetic mindset if you’ve gone through a really tough winter that included experiencing the loss a loved one. I get a lot of questions about how to cope with loss, and one typical example, from Renee, follows:
“Dear Suzane, Thank you for the work that you do. I received a message from my dearest husband through you at your seminar at the Omega Institute in New York. I am surrounded by people who are in pain because of the death of a loved one (what I call the “walking wounded”). It occurs to me that our culture seriously does not know how to deal with death. People are left to fend for themselves, or are drugged, or just lose their minds. Even after eight years, the pain of the loss of my husband is so great that I find myself withdrawn from the life that I once knew, and basically just waiting to die. THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY!
I have read so many books (yours, Raymond Moody’s, Hank Wesselman’s, Dannion Brinkley’s and MANY many more…). I have been through the eight week grief therapy process, and had personal counseling. I have consulted mediums. Now, I am trying desperately to come to terms with death and find meaning to the time that I have remaining here on earth. At this point, I feel I should have some answers, but I only have more questions. I found myself over and over again hearing these words, THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY”
I wish I could tell Renee, and everyone, “Yes, there’s a better way and here it is…” But the truth of the matter is that grief is a process and we each have to get through it as best we can, in our own way. There are no magic wands to wave, or secret levers to pull. To be totally honest, while practicing mediumship over all these years, I am continually amazed by how well people actually deal with their grieving processes quite naturally. This is perhaps a commentary about the kind of open-minded people who attend my events, and I am certainly honored that they come to me for whatever extra comfort I might be able to provide. Yet, even in the everyday world, so many folks already have an intuitive sense of what it’s all about, and patiently get through the process and soon start looking forward to their “next Spring.” I know that this may not be what Renee wanted to hear, but it is the truth.
Now, with all that being said, there are indeed so many things that can help you progress through the grieving process. First of all, keep loving. Also, try to go about your day as best you can, as normally as possible. It’s important to keep sight of the fact that you have a responsibility to yourself and those around you to resume living your life to the fullest, and eventually recapture joy. Read up on the afterlife if you feel drawn to that – one of my books or the many others that are available. Be patient with yourself. There are no deadlines to meet. When you start feeling upset, focus on your breathing, and try to relax. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to cry. When times get tough, remember that eventually your new beginning, your Spring, will arrive. Have faith. Yes, it’s difficult, but you will get through it.
One other thought, know you are never alone. Your loved ones in spirit-along with your guides, angels, spirit helpers, whatever you want to call them-are there keeping an eye on you always.
This Spring I’m so looking forward to getting back into my gardening work, planting those seeds and watching them grow. It is so amazing how that magical journey unfolds. But before we get there…I am very pleased to announce that I’ll be at the Afterlife Conference in Virgina Beach-one of my favorite venues-beginning Friday March 9 and lasting thru the weekend. Lots of wonderful speakers and presenters, as you can see here:
http://www.regonline.com/builder/site/Default.aspx?EventID=975447 Hope to meet up with you there, if you can make it!
To all of you, THANKS for being a part of the work I love to do.