Spring and Nature’s Lessons on Overcoming Grief

Once again, I’ve been wanting something to happen sooner rather than later. This time it’s Spring! However, Mother Nature says Spring will arrive when she’s ready, not when I want it to. I understand that, of course, but after all, we’re now past Easter, having devoured the chocolate rabbits, the colored eggs, and those special dinners. Before that it was the passing of Groundhog Day and the March 21st equinox, neither of which brought much warmth. Come on Spring, get here!

Okay, that’s my mini-rant. Now I’m calming down because this morning the birds – thank God for the birds – and especially robins were everywhere. As has been in the news, so many birds had to change their flight paths to adapt to climate change, some not so easily. But that life, isn’t it? Things change.

As many have experienced, sometimes when we lose someone, our lives change dramatically and it feels like we will never be the same. There is truth in that, of course. So we need to take time to grieve, and then sort things out. Sooner or later, we begin to figure out how to move on as best we can, despite that initial devastating blow.

Just like with the delay of Spring this year, when we lose someone close, there are no magic wands or remotes to fast forward us to the next chapter. As humans, we need to go through the grieving process. Those of us that don’t take the time to grieve, and instead do everything we can to avoid facing the reality of our emotions, are merely postponing the inevitable. At some point, now or 10 years from now, the loss will impact us emotionally. It’s a good idea to deal with the loss sooner rather than later, and let the healing process begin.

Here’s another thing I’ve learned in all my years doing this work. However long it takes you to get beyond the passing of a loved one, and into a mode of normalcy, honor that. If someone tells you to “Get over it” or “Move on already,” tell them, “Walk a mile in my shoes, and then we’ll talk about it!”

Just like getting beyond Winter is taking longer than usual this Spring, overcoming grief can take longer than we hoped and planned. If you find yourself in that kind of situation, just let Nature take its course. Don’t rush it.

Even though Spring is only here on the calendar, it’s very exciting to know that – unless there is another upcoming event that I am unaware of – I will be seeing many of you in the coming months. My special return to Cromwell always warms my heart, and I’ll be doing a fund raiser for Liam Nation this month. I’m then off to Roanoke, Chicago, Denver, Baltimore and Philly. Check out my events page for details.

Irene & The Wedding

There are those times in our lives when making a decision involves a leap of faith, because we have no way of knowing what the consequences will be.  This reality was brought home to me just this past week when I was unsure about getting on a plane to Denver with Hurricane Irene on the way to my hometown New York City.   Here’s the story, but first some background.

Ten years ago, my closest friend was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  At the hospital with my friend was her sister and her daughter Lisa who had just given birth to a son who was two months old.  In her “living will,” my friend had designated me to be the person to make the “disconnect” decision if she ended up on life support.  When I was in the hospital, I realized this: don’t ask someone to make this very intense decision unless they truly can honor your wishes.  Watching my friend’s sister and daughter going through all the pain and agony I realized why my friend had asked me – I was more emotionally removed and able to honor her wishes.  Needless to say, this was one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make.

Fast forward to this past February.  I was in Denver, and got to see Lisa who has grown up to be a lovely woman and wonderful mother. Her first marriage didn’t work out but she now has met a wonderful man with a son and they were soon all going to be one big happy family.  She asked if I would come to her wedding, which was scheduled to be last week.  Since I was going to be in Denver, and my assistant had many requests from people in Denver for me to do a Gallery, I didn’t hesitate to tell her, “Of course I’ll be at your wedding.”

Then the day I’m about to leave, I learn like every other New Yorker that Irene was on her way.  This presented a dilemma: should I go to Denver and face unknown consequences when it was time to return, or should I cancel Denver and batten down in New York?  For me the key was not wanting to disappoint so many people in Denver who were looking to connect with their loved ones, and not wanting to miss Lisa’s wedding.  I also knew that Lisa’s brother Tony would be there.   He was making the trip after not seeing his sister since their mom’s passing.  Plus, over the years, I have been a sort of surrogate parent to both Lisa and Tony since their Mom and Dad had both passed.

The bottom line was that I knew in my heart that I needed to go and so decided to deal with all the consequence of how to get back home to New York if and when the time came.  Well…I went to Denver!  The wedding was great!  Seeing the tears of joy on Lisa and Tony’s faces when I arrived was spectacular.  Add in all the wonderful readings at the Gallery,  and well . . . I’m glad to say it was all a very worthwhile to mark the end of Summer 2011, even though consequences did follow.  As I key these words to you, I’ve been stranded for two extra days in Denver because of the mayhem Irene caused in New York, including the closing of all the airports!  Yes, it was an inconvenience but I am glad I listened with my heart and made the trip.

Sometimes in life we have to do things knowing that yes, there will be some inconveniences resulting from that decision.  But usually these inconveniences will be nothing in comparison to the tragedy of losing a loved one, as the folks who attended my Gallery in Denver can attest.   They would take on the inconveniences I experienced a thousand times over if they could see and hug their beloved DPs just one more time.  That, of course, is impossible.  But . . . there can be a reconnection to our DPs again through Spirit, which can be very healing.  It’s a process I was honored to perform in Denver last week, and a process I have been honored to be a part of for nearly thirty years.
Now, September is here, and soon I’ll be continuing the process of connecting people to their beloved DPs as I travel to California, Utah, Colorado, Chicago, Virginia and elsewhere.  Please visit my website and check out my calendar. Looking forward to connecting with you and those you love.

Spring is Around the Corner!

The most wonderful thing happened just the other day…I heard cardinals singing outside my window!  Now I know it’s supposed to be the groundhog who predicts how long the rest of the winter will last, but he is often wrong.  The cardinals are never wrong!  So cheer up my Winterland friends, because Spring is right around the corner. I hope that this news brings music to your ears, the way the cardinals brought a song of Spring to me.

Although I am chomping at the bit for Spring to arrive, I will share with you that I did very much enjoy my recent trip to Denver.  The people there made me feel so welcome, which in turn helped bring about the many miraculous connections between the Denverites who attended my events, and all their loved ones in Spirit.  It was truly an honor to share such wonderful experiences while in the presence of those majestic Rocky Mountains, whose beauty overtakes you wherever you go.

This Spring, on the vernal equinox, I’ll be in Teotihuacan, Mexico-described by Wikipedia as “an enormous archaeological site in the Basin of Mexico, containing some of the largest pyramidal structures built in the pre-Columbian Americas.”  I’ll be there at the pyramids -to welcome Spring while embarking on a true shamanic journey.  This will be my very first trip to Teotihuacan, and one I’m truly looking forward to.  I’ll be sharing stories from my years of working with clients-allowing attendees to gain a greater understanding of the death process and why our loved ones continue to communicate with us even after their physical death, and in the process bring us the peace of knowing that Love never dies.

I’m often asked, “What if my loved ones spoke another language, will you be able to relay their messages to me?”  The answer is Yes! DP communications come thru the universal language of Love. So I am able to connect with DPs who spoke no English while they were here in the physical.  Sometimes a specific expression or phase may have a meaning that I do not understand but I will pass it along.  The family members and friends here will recognize what their loved ones in Spirit are talking about. And the basic message of Love and connection will come thru loud and clear.

Oh, and let us also not forget that a few days before the vernal equinox, on March 17, everyone becomes Irish.  Join in to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, and if the spirit moves you, connect with the faeries and leprechauns, those lively cheerful energies that bring us luck and make us dance and sing. Ah yes, St. Patrick’s Day-a wonderful reason to celebrate, especially in New York City, home of the great St. Paddy’s Day Parade!  Another sure sign of Spring!

Finally, as Spring approaches, don’t forget to mark your calendars to tune into my radio shows.  On Monday March 7 (6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific), my guest will be Dr. Gary Schwartz, the University of Arizona professor with whom I worked as part of “The Afterlife Experiments.”  Also, on Monday Apr 11 (6 PM Eastern, 3 PM Pacific), my guest will be Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the very popular “Emotional Freedom,” which has just come out in paperback. If you can’t be there for the live broadcasts, check out the archives at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/search/northrop/

That’s all for now!  Take care and be well!