children

Wisdom Gained in Chile, and Celebrating Spring Holidays

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Welcome to April! We are now officially in Aries, the first sign in the Zodiac, corresponding with the March 20 Vernal Equinox.

This would be a good time to check things out with your local, trusted astrologer. Let them get you up to speed on all that’s happening from their astrological perspective, and see what resonates and works out.

This April has many religious holy days — Passover and Easter being the most well known here in the U.S. Many of these days reflect Spring celebrations and beginnings. Eggs are set at the table for Easter and Seder, and lamb and greens are served at both celebrations. Yes, whatever your religious persuasion, a table with lots of food to eat makes for a grand time.

I know that for many families during this holiday season, what is very important is enjoying the children who are smiling and having fun. Coloring Easter eggs, going on Easter hunts, etc. At Seders, the little ones get to sit next to grandma and ask four questions.

One theory holds that the symbol of the bunny rabbit on Easter stems from a pagan tradition, specifically the festival of “Eostre” — named after a goddess of fertility whose animal symbol was a bunny. Rabbits, known for their energetic breeding, have traditionally symbolized fertility.

I recently traveled to Chile. OK, you’ve heard me rave about Africa, still my favorite trip. But I now have to say that Chile comes close to tying Africa as my favorite destination. If Chile is not on your travel list, I would highly recommend that you add it, and don’t hesitate to go!

I know many of you have heard about Patagonia, a famous place in Chile (seen in the picture above). However, there are many other beautiful places there, including deserts, lakes, and mountains where the third largest glacier is.

Mother Earth (Mama Pacha, as the Chileans refer to her) is revered by the indigenous people who live in harmony with the Earth, and do all they can to preserve their traditions, land, and country. Chileans are very proud of their country, and are very willing to express their love of Mother Earth with others.

A shout-out to Almendia, who enlightened me regarding the Chilean land, history and culture. Lots I didn’t know. For instance, there is a huge German population that emigrated to Chile.

People travel from all over the world to get to Chile, and it’s very cool to interact with those fellow travelers. Mostly I met Brazilians and Argentinians, but there were also lots of Brits, Germans, Canadians and Asians, as well as many Americans.

Interestingly enough, although Chile is a Catholic country, while there I heard that many parents have left the Church, because they are disappointed with much of what’s going on within the Church itself. The holidays remain important in relationship to the family, but not the Church. I’m sure many of you can relate.

I’ve always been a big believer that sometimes we need to stretch out of our comfort zone, to better ourselves. Traveling to Chile, or to another country, or even another area in your own state, is one way of stretching out.

There are many ways to travel, and many wonderful companies that can arrange your adventure at a very reasonable rate. One thing I’ve noticed is that many retired teachers love to travel! They deserve it for all the services performed to help educate children.

Speaking of children, I’m doing a fundraiser on April 4th, for TEEG (Thompson Ecumenical Empowerment Group) — a small grassroots non-profit social service agency in North Grosvenordale, CT. They began in 1985 as a group of volunteers that joined together to meet the needs of “Three Rows”, the largest mill village in the North Grosvenordale section of Thompson. The community volunteers determined their focus was to create a safe place for children to play and to foster “self-help.” In 1988, TEEG was incorporated as a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. At TEEG, they have always believed that the quality of their service rests on two things: Compassion for those who seek their service, and accountability to those who fund their programs.

Ah yes, Spring is here! Enjoy this wonderful time of the year. And kids, it’s time for those seeds to be planted! Quite literally, and of course symbolically on other levels as well.

I look forward to seeing many of you at my upcoming events. Yes, it’s all about those we love.

Spring is Just Around the Corner!

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Yay! Spring is just around the corner. The vernal equinox is due to arrive on March 20th, just three days after we get to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. And celebrate we will!

So excited that Spring is on the way!

Spring of course means different things to different people, but one thing is for sure – we all feel in one way or another that Spring is a time of re-birth and new beginnings. A time that can put a smile on your face and a skip in your step, as Nature begins to turn a rich and luscious green. Also a time to wipe away those tears if you’ve endured the loss of a loved one over the winter, or during this past year.

After one of my recent events, a woman to whom I had delivered a message came up to me. It was clear that she needed a hug. No questions needed to be asked, nor statements made. As the tears rolled down her cheeks, she shared how this had been a very hard year for her. She lost not only her dad, but a dear friend, and her nephew as well. Her sister and daughter had attended the event with her and it was a very intense experience for all of them.

Interestingly, I find it not uncommon for families to suffer several losses in a row. When someone is just trying to deal with a passing, there is soon another one right after, or as was in this family’s case, three within a year.

The woman told me that her son was having a very hard time adjusting to his cousin’s passing in particular, and was pulling away from the family. She and I talked about it and how this was when the family needed to be there for him. Hugs would be good medicine.

One thing was for sure, the young man is very sensitive. And if there is one thing I can share that is critically important, it is that boys who are very sensitive have it much harder in this world, there being a certain macho expectancy of young men in our society.

Fortunately for this young man, his mother gets it, and has been very much there for him in letting him know how important family is. He recognizes their love for him and that they are there to help him through. Interestingly enough, the young man is also very close to his aunt, the mother of his deceased cousin. So, he is blessed to have not only a loving mom but also a very caring aunt and others to help him process his grief.

I have no doubt that after these three passings, the family will very much be looking forward to Spring and all its beauty. Fortunately, they live in a part of the country where Spring in always a joyous welcoming.

In the U.S., the overall population doesn’t deal very well with physical death, which is a reaction that is very different from so many other cultures I’ve encountered around the world.

None of the feelings of grief after losing a loved one come with a manual, and we all need to deal with and process grief in our own way. But dealing with death is part of the journey we all signed up for. Fortunately, I have been honored to be able to make things easier for so many by connecting those still here with their loved ones in Spirit, and sharing precious moments.

With Spring on her way, and anticipating those feelings of new birth, I am reminded that our loved ones want us more than anything to value our lives, and be happy. Of course there will be ups and downs, bitter and sweet moments, but it is all about the cycle of life. Our DPs want to remind us that they are literally there in Spirit when we take our walks, look at their photos, or just flash on a memory, maybe like the time we laughed so hard that we peed our pants. Most importantly, they want us to continue to feel the love we still share with them. It is all of these little things that are really SO BIG – fond memories and continuing enjoyment that no one can ever take away.

Recently, I was interviewed by a doctor who had been woken up during the night by her house lights flashing. She was sure it was her mom, who has crossed over, telling her to visit her niece who was in the hospital with terminal cancer. Although the doctor knew that her mother wanted her to go see her niece, she had second “logical” thoughts, and considered discussing the situation with others. Fortunately, she decided against consulting with anyone, feeling she would have been talked out of making the trip to the hospital. Instead, she followed her first impression – first impressions usually being a very reliable indicator when receiving messages from beyond.

The doctor went to the hospital and learned that her niece hadn’t eaten in a week, and that the staff felt she was on death’s door. Upon seeing her aunt arrive, the niece sat up in the bed, and ordered a mega meal for both of them. They ate, laughed, and joyously shared their bond of love. Later the aunt told me over and over that she was so glad she trusted the message she knew was coming from her mom on the Other Side.

And that my friends, is a memory the good doctor will treasure forever. It also serves as a reminder to listen to those messages that ring so true. If you’ve never done so, give it a try this Spring. And, of course, appreciate the blooming flowers, and watch how Mother Earth works her magic, and creates such awesome beauty. If you have the will and opportunity, plant those seeds of whatever it is you want to have grow. Take care of your project, and enjoy a most wonderful mystery of Nature.

Let me end by saying that I’ve got so many wonderful events coming up, from the West Coast, to the Midwest, to the East Coast. Please check my website for details. Looking forward to seeing all of you, be it for the first time, the tenth time, or whatever.

Love, Faith, and Lessons of the Soul

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Happy Month of Love!

If you live in parts of the country where the weather is cold, you will welcome all the warmth of love coming your way in February! For, we know it’s all about Love, Love, Love, as recited so poetically by Lin-Manuel Miranda who was the winner of eleven Tony Awards for “Hamilton” (I still can’t get a ticket), and of the 2016 Pulitzer Prize. He also has two Oscar nominations for Best Animated Picture and Best Song for “How Far I’ll Go.” To be honest, for me it couldn’t be better said. He is a very “in-tune” man who has expressed the message of “Love, Love, Love,” over and over again, throughout all his work.

For most of my adult life, I have repeatedly heard from loved ones in spirit, as well as from those still here in the physical, how much Love means. The deep intense feeling we experience when we suffer the loss of someone close to us, and how their passing impacts our lives, has to do with the fact that we loved that person.

I realize that we all have to sometimes work hard to keep the faith through Love, and make it replace fear. Not always easy, but necessary for one’s soul growth.

Many of you have written to me about the current state of affairs on a spiritual basis. Firstly, I’m with Lin-Manuel, Love, Love, Love. It couldn’t be more important in these moments of tension and fear to keep Love as a focus. Again, I know how difficult that may be, but I am and will always be a firm believer that Love will always win out in the long run. We may not always see the results we desire, but please believe me, Love is what God, spirit, and soul learning is all about.

Most of you know by know now that I honor and have the greatest respect for Mother Earth. She who feeds us, shelters us, and offers escape via trails to follow; oceans, rivers, and lakes in which to swim; mountains to climb, etc., etc. In sum, it is Mother Earth who allows us to exist. She has a whole world to take care of, and she does it, tirelessly tending for us. Mother Earth is the ultimate nurturer and the example for women to follow as caretakers.

Men too! I have as well in my work experienced many wonderful men who take care of their loved ones – children, wives, mothers, sisters, etc. That is what nurturers do – lend a helping hand, especially during those overwhelming moments.

For Mother Earth, taking care of the land and the waters that support us, is a full-time job. I have for a long time known that trees communicate with each other and like us, have families and communities. Indeed, a well-known scientist studied trees in Nature for a twenty-five year period and learned that the trees actually communicate with each other underground. For example, if a certain type of tree needs a particular nutrient or more sun, the other trees will adjust to make it happen.

So, in response to those emails about fear of what may be coming, whatever it is, let me remind you of my book Everything Happens for a Reason. Love, free will, and lessons of the soul are paramount.

Through our love as nurturers, remember, Mother Earth needs us to do everything we can to help share her burden. Recycling is just but one small example. Each of us needs to do our part to make the world inhabitable for our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. who will inherit the Earth when we transition to the Other Side.

With regard to free will, remember, God helps those who help themselves. We have the free will to do the little things that are the big things that make a difference. This can be as simple and taking cloth bags to the market and not using plastic bags. In some cities, plastic bags come with a price (a hotly debated issue in NYC right now), which is a disincentive to using them. When I worked in Denmark, there were NO bags in the stores, period! The oceans will be very happy if less plastic ends up there.

Lessons of the soul. We don’t die, we continue. More precisely, although nobody here gets out alive, every soul does. And the love in our souls continues after we leave the body.

Still, our bodies are important in our souls’ purpose and for learning. And Earth – a tough but wonderful school – is the stage upon which are bodies perform.

Take care of Mother Earth, and she will better take care of you, now and perhaps in a future lifetime.

As we start the New Year. I look forward to connecting in Love on the journey in which we really are all connected. I’m doing many new events this year in places I haven’t done for awhile, to name a few: Somerset, New Jersey, Baltimore, Rochester, Minneapolis, Chicago, Seattle, and Portland, while returning to many others I love. Visit my calendar for a complete schedule.

Happy Valentines Day, my friends!

Signs, Connections, and Gratitude

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Welcome to the month of giving Thanks!

There is not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for our ability to connect to the spirit and energy, of Love.

Amazing too is how by just listening to your inner voice, or acting on a hunch or a feeling, we can open our hearts and minds to infinite possibilities. Let me share just one of those kinds of happenings, involving a person I had never met.

I was doing a radio event recently (a relatively rare occurrence nowadays, sadly, given the dynamics of the radio industry), in front of a live audience. Just before I am about to go on, the radio person who sponsored me for the event says that there is a guy in the audience who wasn’t sure but thought I might be dead! Yeah, that’s right. He came to this conclusion because he recently “saw” me with his deceased mom, while he was in the cemetery, and I was in my forties.

Well, this is what I call loaded material, scripted before I even walked out on the stage. I’m of course aware of the difference between receiving messages and interpreting them, so I knew that I had to be on my toes.

I walk out on stage, and, alluding to the story about the guy who said I was dead, I tell everyone that I’m quite sure I’m still alive and well. The guy who said I was dead steps up and sweetly and graciously proceeds to tell me that he took his mother to see me many years ago and that she had just died a month ago. He said that when he was visiting his mom’s grave, I popped into his head. From this, he had drawn the conclusion that I was deceased. He decided to Google me and found out that, on the very next day, I was going to be appearing just down the road from where he lives! I guess he should have realized at that point that I wasn’t dead, but sometimes, logic does not prevail.

It was pretty clear to me that his momma was connecting to him in the graveyard and getting him to come see me, although in a very roundabout way, which is often the case with messages from beyond. I have to say that this was, in some ways, very very funny, and yes, his momma did show up at the event with lots of other family members. And of course there were messages that came through me for him, and were very helpful.

Kids, you can’t make this stuff up! And right before Halloween! I guess that the veil between the two worlds was really rocking!

Now, with Halloween behind us, we are in the month of Thanksgiving. A difficult time for those who have had family members who were with them last year at this time, but who have crossed over in the interim, and will not be at the dinner table this Thanksgiving.

It’s during this time of year when that feeling of being alone can really hit hard – the first year after the loss of a loved one being the hardest, as I have so often said. Those who have lost someone near and dear during this past year may tend to feel especially despondent and isolated because that special someone isn’t around this Thanksgiving. But what we must always remember is that they ARE around, just not in the physical. Trust me, they are near you. Watch for those little signs. Trust our sixth sense and see how you recently departed loved one is making herself or himself known. Like I said before, listening to your inner voice, or acting on a hunch or a feeling, can open our hearts and minds to infinite possibilities.

I know it’s not easy, especially when your heart is broken. But take control. Open your hearts and minds and realize that your loved one is in a better place-a place we all are destined to ascend to eventually. Focus on this aspect of reality, recognize the Truth, and you will be able to heal your broken heart.

Now I realize that this is all easier said than done. Heartache is a deep emotion we all have to deal with sooner or later, and with the holidays coming, starting with Thanksgiving, even more so. That is why I most strongly suggest that you open up your hearts and minds, and recognize that, eventually, every soul must leave her or his body, and travel home.

Take time also to focus on others who are so much more in need. Perhaps you can become one of those wonderful volunteers who deliver food to the needy – or at least donate to that cause. But what may be even more important than food for those so down on their luck, believe it or not, is having a kind face acknowledge their presence, and wish them a happy holiday. Even better, if you can manage it, give that person in need a hug. We ALL need nurturing; no man or woman is an island.

And don’t forget your partner, or significant other, or friend, or wife or husband, whatever the term of the one you are closest with. Remember, family does NOT always mean blood. Connection is about Love, and we get it from so many different places.

So, if you are fortunate enough this year to be with all the family members who were around you last year, keep in mind those who have lost someone. Consider reaching out, and connecting with that person. The look in their eyes as you recognize their situation will be priceless.

And if you get a message about me while visiting the cemetery, like the guy on the radio show did, let me know!

And thinking of hope and thanks, I’ll be returning once again to Roanoke for Hope for the Holidays, with a stop off to ARE (Edgar Cayce’s Foundation) in Virginia Beach.

Warmly,
Suzane

P.S. Another suggestion . . . consider forgetting about your diet this Thanksgiving. I’m not saying overdo it, but, it is time to soak in all the festivities, so let yourself go, just a little.

What is Important?

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Welcome soon to the Fall Equinox! For those of you who are wondering, or are a bit in tune, yes, the infamous Mercury Retrograde is indeed upon us, and will last until late September.

I know for some that this is a difficult or frustrating time, but remember, in the grand scheme of things, it’s just a blip on your radar screen.

They say that travel can be tricky during Mercury Retrograde. Well . . . I travel a lot during this time, and usually experience no problems more than the usual travel annoyances. Annoyances, as we know, are not tragedies but just . . . incidents of little stuff that can make us “crazy” for a short period of time. Not really all that important – unless you let it be.

And by the way, especially if you’re a writer, musician, or any kind of artist, Mercury Retrograde can actually work in your favor since it is a time when you may become more creative. Also, think of it as a way to keep summer going, because after all, that’s what the Retrograde is about, standing still. Also a good time to explore your inner dimensions.

Speaking of which, in the context of discussing a deep loss, I was recently asked, “What is important?” Well, really, the answer is within you: what is important to YOU? Generally speaking, what I have discovered after having the very distinct privilege of sharing so many journeys with so many wonderful people, is that those folks who experience deep losses and sorrows in their lives do somehow manage to go on and find a healing place. What is important is to process the grief and “come out of it,” in your own time, commonly within a year, though there is no set timetable.

Most, although not all, of those people who do “come out of it” tend to have a deep faith, and know that there is a greater presence in their lives. Call it “God,” call it “the Universe,” call it “Spirit,” call it whatever . . . It is all a way of knowing that energy does not die, and that we, as souls currently inhabiting human form, will continue to exist in the hereafter.

Another key question I’ve been asked is: “Why?” For example, a very special woman whom I’ve known for over twenty-five years, asked “Why?” after she had recently lost not only her second child, but also her husband. It is always for me one of the most difficult questions to answer, but the short answer is that only your soul knows for sure – and that you signed up for the experience, or at least the possibility that the experience would occur, in order to achieve soul growth, and/or help another progress spiritually.

In this instance, this beautiful young woman is someone to be reckoned with, someone with an unbelievable zest for life! She is what I usually call the “glue-keeper” in the family. Their losses are always among the most difficult for the family to deal with, because it is the glue-keepers who keep the family together through all its trials and tribulations, and want to have all the answers at the ready.

I’ve talked about this in my books – it is not all that uncommon for families to lose more than one child, or sibling. Sometimes, this pattern runs through extended families. For example, both my grandmothers lost sons. And as those who know me realize, I also lost a nephew, who was a “son” to me.

Now, guys . . . please . . . don’t go nuts on me here. I’m not saying that this will happen to you. It is just a phenomenon that I have experienced along my own path, and in doing my work. There are more families that have not had such a series of intense losses, but instead have had lots of kids and siblings go on forever, and parents who live well into their nineties!

So please remember: we each walk our own path, and we each have the capability to enjoy every moment along the way, because each day is just that, another day in the life!

On a lighter note, I, for one, am still living off tomatoes from my garden in upstate New York. I’ve been giving away as many as I can to any pantry or church that will have the tomatoes for themselves, or others in need. So, summer continues. And although we are soon to be in the Fall Equinox, September 22nd to be exact, we have a good chunk of beautiful summer weather ahead: sunrises, sunsets, walks in the parks, hikes everywhere, strolls along the shore, a day at the beach, etc., etc., etc. Enjoy and embrace those warm daily journeys for we know, at least here in the Northeast, what is just around the corner.

Please note that I’ll be doing another event in the Capital region as it’s called in NY, returning to Nashville, Chicago, St. Louis, the Cape in Mass, the West Coast, Virginia Beach, and Roanoke just to name a few of my fall visits. And as always so looking forward to all I meet on my journey!

Rocking Into Fall!

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Wow! Have we come rocking into Fall! A Blood Moon, eclipses, and to top it off, a visit from the Pope!

You know how I love synchronicities . . . and these early Fall events scream out that something special is going on. Synchronistic connections are wonderful energies that add just a bit to one’s life.

I know I’m not the only one who watched that incredible Blood Moon at the end of September, an event that happens only every 20 or 30+ years! You know that it had to be a huge event because not only was it all over the media, but also shown at football games (and you know how football fans don’t like to be distracted!). The TV people couldn’t help mention it because the Blood Moon hovered over the games . . . way way cool! And this was all going on around the time when Pope Francis was visiting New York City and Philadelphia. My favorite moment was when Pope Francis indicated that “You don’t have to believe in God to go to Heaven.” Gotta love that one!

I know many folks who were very affected by the Pope’s visit to the States. His arrival, presence, and words were so welcome, as was his stance to care and protect children. Of course, we may not agree with all of his words; after all, he is head of the Catholic Church which has its own rules and values. But aside from that, I must say that as I am a true Nature lover, I was so glad to hear the Pope honor Mother Earth with his comments about climate change. Someone in the media couldn’t resist commenting, “What does the Pope know about climate change? He should leave that up to the scientists.” But as it turned out that was a foot-in-the-mouth statement because the critic obviously didn’t know that the Pope has a degree in Science, Chemistry to be exact. Touché! And the Pope’s critic also failed to realize that we can all make our own decisions about how we should treat Mother Nature after reading what all the various scientists and pundits are saying lately? Indeed, “The times they are [once again] a-changin’.”

Naturally, change happens as we transition from one season to the next, but this is especially true in Autumn. Things will be different now from the way they were in Summer. For most, no more visits to the beach and lakes, no Summer vacations, and of course it’s back-to-school-time for the kids. For stay-at-home parents, it might just be the right time for you to take that cooking or painting class. So get out there and do it!

Also gotta love the Fall for the leaves turning colors, which reflects our need to transition mentally, emotionally, and of course physically to adapt to the changing weather and energies.

Recently I went hiking on a path and saw many families out there in Nature together, with parents carrying their precious little ones in backpacks! Some children of course were capable of walking along the trails, and it was great to see them without their iPads and iPhones, and simply experiencing Nature!

Nature! What a wonderful experience it can be to explore for you and your significant other, children, relatives, friends, or even just by yourself. The Nature experience tends to deepen from within. I will tell you that with children, unless they are too young, they will remember their family Nature outings quite fondly. “Daddy, remember when we climbed that big mountain?” And so forth. Great memories!

If you have a loved one with whom you have experienced Nature, but who has now crossed over, you know that the memories continue. No one can ever take that away from you. Such a treasure!

I’m feeling prompted to remind everyone that it’s important but difficult to remember the way a loved one was before they crossed over, or became terminally ill, or was involved in an accident leading to their passing. Know that our loved ones on the Other Side want us to remember them the way they were before things changed at the end. They want you to remember the good moments, the matters of the heart, which keep the Love between you and them alive, despite all the changes in the world.

As we welcome the beautiful Fall with all it’s radiant colors and changes, our lives also will change, for we are ALL affected by energetic happenings.

Speaking of happenings, since this is October, I’d be remiss to not mention that at the end of the month comes Halloween! Also, known as All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints Eve, or Day of the Dead. And it’s not just about pumpkins and apples, and trick-or-treats! In Mexico, and other countries, “Día de Muertos” (Day of the Dead) is the holiest day of year!

Coming up this Fall for me are lot of exciting events. I’ll be heading back to California for two appearances! Firstly, I will be with A.J. Barrera in Irvine on October 10. It’s important to note that we are offering a 20% discount off two tickets, and the first 20 people who register before Thursday, October 8 at 2:00 pm PST will be entered into a raffle for a special gift and meet-and-greet with me and A.J.! In addition, I have a special event, “Discover Gold,” in Cameron Park on October 17. This event also has a special discount of $30 off two tickets, so be sure to take advantage of that! I’ll also be doing an event sponsored by radio WQRC on Cape Cod in Massachusetts on October 27. And I will be be returning to my yearly visit to “Hope for the Holidays” by K92 in Roanoke, VA in November. And of course, returning to Cromwell, CT.

I want extend a special thank you to the folks in Nashville for their warm welcome on September 19! It felt so good being down South, and so, here I come Atlanta on November 14!

A jam-packed October for yours truly. Looking forward to seeing you!

Growing Older, Changing Seasons

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Yes, September is here, but there’s still time to dive into a lake, pool, or ocean, and do whatever fun things you like to do in the Summer, as there are three more weeks to go before Autumn officially arrives.

As I write, in New York City the forecast is for sunny skies this upcoming week, with temperatures in the 80’s and 90. So I’m sure many of you, like me, are going to hold on to this Summer for as long as you possibly can. No problem with that, but do remember that Fall for many can be the most breathtaking season of them all. So don’t get too sad that Summer is ending – it happens every year! All part of the seasons of life here on Planet Earth.

Why it is that everyone in the Northeast thinks Summer is the shortest season, and Winter the longest? I guess that’s just how it is. Or maybe it’s because. “Time flies when you’re having fun,” and there is more fun to be had in the Summer. In any event, once again we have the changing of the seasons to remind us of own life changes.

I was recently engaged in a conversation regarding how many baby boomers are still not only dealing with their children and their children’s problems, but with elderly parents as well. The aging-parent syndrome reminds us how life, like each season, runs in cycles, especially if you end up taking care of a parent who raised you.

When caretaking for a parent who was difficult to begin with, the job can be even more challenging. And then of course there are the aging-parent families with siblings – so often it seems that only one brother or sister will take on the major caretaking load, while the others virtually disappear. Not really fair. Ideally, the caretaking chore should be shared among siblings. Of course, if you are an only child with an elderly parent in need of homecare, well, things are made all the more difficult.

I would most respectfully suggest that anyone in a parental homecare role focus for a second on those who have parents on the Other Side. Often the surviving children writhe in guilt, feeling and wondering year after year, “Did I do enough?” when their parents were still alive. I see so much of this in my line of work. If I may suggest, better to do what your conscience dictates now, than to stew in guilt afterward.

As Betty Davis once said, “Getting old is not for sissies,” and likewise, I would say that caring for an aging parent is also not for sissies. If you’ve spent a good part of your life raising children, and then have to help care for a spouse who becomes ill, and later have to care for an elderly parent, well, your season of helping will seem like a career. But most likely, that’s what you signed up for before being born, to present you with an opportunity for even more soul growth during this incarnation. See if you can measure up to the challenge, and good luck to you!

I was once asked why most mediums don’t talk about elderly folks who have lost a spouse. I was like, “What?” For this question has a false premise. In my work experience, nothing could be further from the truth. I have encountered many widows and widowers who have lost a spouse of 30, 40, or 50 or more years. Their Love (like all existing Love) goes on after death, as I have said many times. It’s all part of the seasons of our lives.

Although death is often associated with Winter (when the trees lose their leaves and the essence of plant life disappears into the Earth), it actually doesn’t matter in what season a death occurs. Symbolically, it is Winter for those going through the process of grieving over the passing of a loved one. But, as is with Winter, let us not forget that there is beauty in death, as that the soul survives and returns to its natural state in a place many call “Heaven.”

For those of us still alive on this beautiful Planet Earth, let us recognize that it is not Winter yet here in September, 2015. Heck, it’s not even Autumn. There are weeks of Summer to go! For now my friends, enjoy the rest of what has been a beautiful Summer (at least in the Northeast), and as we transition into Autumn, open your mind to let those falling leaves and magnificent colors inspire you to carry on, during the remainder of this, and your next, season of life.

The Wisdom of Dads

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Happy June! The month when so much is happening – the start of summer, the end of the school year, weddings, vacations, graduations, and {{{{{drum roll}}}}} Father’s Day!

Recently, I went to my godson’s graduation at the Forman School in Litchfield, CT. This school has been around for 100 years and is focused on helping kids with learning disabilities such as dyslexia and ADHD. At the graduation, Alan Alda, whose grandson was also graduating, spoke. Alan’s speech was eloquent and wise. Every person, young or old, male or female, could truly benefit from his wisdom. Indeed, judging by the vibes and reactions, I believe that many in the audience recognized that they were receiving a gift of life guidance. One thing he said that especially resonated with me was (and I’m paraphrasing), “I can’t give you my seventy years of life. I’m only sharing what I feel have been the important moments or messages of life, as I’ve seen it.”

Alan also noted how that in 2015, the whole world can learn what happened halfway across the globe almost immediately – something no generation except this one has experienced. He also told a very funny story about Kurt Vonnegut, the talented author, who delivered a commencement address in 1997 that became world famous. The only thing was, Kurt didn’t write it! Still, it’s a gem worth repeating, as Alan did at the graduation ceremony I attended.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

I was so thrilled to hear Alan Alda (a father of three and grandfather of eight, according to Wikipedia) read “Kurt’s speech.”

As Alan, and all dads know, June is the month in which we celebrate Father’s Day! In my previous newsletter, I paid special attention to mothers for their day, so I feel it’s only right this month to give kudos to the dads. You know who you are and how important you have been to those whom you love and who love you. I know many of you have felt the weight of the world on your shoulders while caring for and protecting your kids. A very tough job, but hey . . . Congratulations! You did it! And for many, you are still doing it!

For those dads who have lost a child, I present the following which I came across on Facebook, and want to share.

A Dad Hurts Too

People don’t always see the tears a DAD cries,
His heart is broken too when his beloved child dies.
He tries to hold it together and tries to be strong,
Even though his whole world’s gone wrong.
He holds on to her as her tears fall,
Comforts her throughout it all.
He goes through his day doing what he’s supposed to do,
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away too.
So when he’s alone he lets out his pain,
And his tears come down like pouring rain.
His world has crashed in all around him,
All that was bright has gone completely dim.
He searches for answers but none are to be found,
Who offers help a DAD up when he’s hit the ground?
He smiles through his fears,
Struggles trying to hold in his tears.
But what you see on the outside is not always real,
Men don’t always show how they really feel.
He feels he has to be strong for the others,
But DADS hurt too, not just the mothers.

(Original work found here)

Let me close by saying . . . Friends, enjoy all the upcoming wonderful moments of this June, and reflect on the good times of days gone by . . . they are all important. And do wear sunscreen!

Looking forward this June to returning to the Afterlife Conference in Norfolk, Virginia, and returning to New Hampshire. Check out my website for details.

As I write, spring is still here, and it’s Rachel Carson’s birthday. What an amazing gift she left the world, way before her time.

Honoring Mothers

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Happy Month of May!

And of course Happy Mother’s Day to all those important forever and always caregivers, be they actual moms or the gals who fill that role — from grandmothers, to sisters, to aunts, etc. Time to celebrate the mothers in our lives.

Yes, this Hallmark holiday can and does bring up every emotion possible — including love, anger, and of course sadness especially if your mother has recently passed over.

Because of what is revealed given the nature of my work, I hear many stories involving relationships with mothers, some that are not very pleasant. For example, a friend of mine got a call around Mother’s Day and began yelling at the caller that her mother was dead and to leave her alone!

One common theme that emerges during my work is unresolved mother issues, especially for those who have chosen to not have their mothers in their lives, or to not allow their mothers to see their own grandchildren, sometimes with good reason. Thankfully there are many more wonderful giving mothers than those who are not.

As I have said so many times, before we incarnate, we actually chose our mothers, as part of our soul growth process. Consciously, one might say, “I would never have chosen this situation,” especially during trying times of a mother’s illness. But, the soul knows better. Like old fashioned photography, we develop from the negative.

The movie “Still Alice” focuses on what happens in a family where the matriarch of the family has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, and how things change when the center of the family falls ill. Of course, this type of situation deeply affects all of the family members, and things can really become unglued.

But sometimes the opposite happens, as with a friend of mine whose 94 year old mother came down with debilitating spinal stenosis over the harsh and icy New York City winter. The three brothers pulled together as a team to care for their mom, and took turns being there at every juncture, including surgery which thankfully went as well as could be expected. Hopefully now, physical therapy will help get her back up on her feet and walking again.

Interestingly, there are two main times of the year where my office phone rings non-stop: Christmas and Mother’s Day. The latter is because mothers are a major force in all our lives, and the mother-child relationship is one of the most significant relationships we have — if not THE most. Through mom is how we learn to love and share.

In my experience with clients and attendees at my events, I have seen that losing one’s mother can still be painful twenty years after her passing. This is why I devoted a whole chapter to losing a parent in my book Everything Happens for a Reason, addressing issues like losing a mother at a young age, taking care of mom in her old age, and for so many never getting over a mother’s passing.

Interesting that Mother’s Day occurs during the Spring when the flowers, trees and grass start to grow. There are tulips galore, forsythias, and all those little green uprisings that I promised would be coming up through the ground where all that snow used to be.

Ah, Wonderful spring! The season where poets sing songs of love, people have a skip in their step, and joy abounds. This year, I got my hint of Spring while in the desert, watching the cactus and desert plants blooming. Seeing flowers emerge from a cactus is breathtaking, one of the many wonders of Nature. Once again I am looking forward to The Afterlife Conference in June, and a return to New Hampshire where it’s been a few years. There will also be new events in Denver in July and Lily Dale in August.

Okay then, time to put some flowers on the table after picking them with my hands and letting them do what they do best — look beautiful and smell glorious.

Happy May Everyone!

Matters of the Heart

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Happy matters of the heart month! And when I say “matters of the heart,” I mean ALL matters of the heart. Not just your steady or current Valentine.

Every one of our relationships involves matters of the heart, since in one way or another we are all affected emotionally by our interactions with others. And in many ways these interactions can serve as a barometer of our true selves, if we are willing to be open and grow.

Anyone who has dealt with someone who cannot be open realizes that there is little hope to grow in the relationship. We must at times make ourselves vulnerable – but of course be careful with whom you so engage. I realize how hard this can be but when we truly open ourselves, we have the greatest chance of honest transformation.

We know without question that people do die of a broken heart. So, it should come as no surprise how important matters of the heart actually are.

And of course, as I have said many times, our loved ones in Spirit, our DPs, maintain a continuing heart connection with us from the Other Side. Love does not end with physical death. Love facilitates my work.

Even short passing relationships can impact our hearts. Often, I’ve been awestruck during moments shared with clients – be it in a group, with a couple, or in a one-on-one setting. Those interactions have in so many ways transformed me, and helped me view life from different perspectives.

Interesting, too, how times of conflict and heartache can lead to a greater understanding. Indeed, trials and tribulations can push us in a direction we might not otherwise head. Along the way, if we open our hearts to change, healing and transformation are possible – even though the end result may not align with where we thought we wanted to be.

I have leaned that how we think about what we may want in our lives, is often influenced by our relationships with others, and how we feel about them in our hearts. As many of us have experienced, moments of change often occur as a result of our connection to another person(s), as well as how we travel along our spiritual paths. We are, without question, wired for connecting to others.

A relevant quote on relationships that I recently came upon follows. It’s from Angela Wilson MA, RYT.

From birth, we require connection to survive. Babies who don’t receive enough physical contact and emotional responsiveness are at higher risk for behavioral, emotional, and social problems. They cry more and sleep less. At its extreme, babies who are neglected and not touched often don’t survive. Human contact and engagement is as fundamental to our survival as food and water.

The impact of relationships on positive brain development goes well beyond infancy and far into adulthood. Studies show that certain types of therapies can change the brains of people with depression, borderline personality disorder, and trauma. A therapeutic relationship can produce changes in the brain equivalent to and sometimes lasting longer than medication. These studies point to the power of relationships to heal the mind.

Intuitively, this makes sense. Our biggest wounds most likely happen in relationships.

I have talked and written about how losing a parent or sibling when you were a child affects your relationship choices later. Heartbreaking. However, by connecting with our DPs, we can close the void that occurs when those relationships are severed at our early age. As long as we are willing to be open and listen.

We also need to be able to forgive. When our friends, family, and/or other loved ones hurt us, we need to be ready to move past it, especially if they are sincerely sorry. When this happens, the relationship can be transformative. The heartache can be healed. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver and the forgiven.

On the flip side, if you are the offender, there is (of course) no guarantee that the one you’ve hurt will accept your apology, and forgive. That is sad, because the inability to forgive may trigger the end of the relationship. However, it’s important to try and stretch ourselves and apologize when necessary, and/or accept the apologies that come our way. Most of the time, following such a path will create a rewarding outcome.

To be sure, one of the most important relationships we have as adults is our relationship with the children in our lives – whether or not we are a parent in the biological sense.

I have had many discussions with people who personally experienced the loss of a child, and perhaps suffered along with the kids through their attention deficit disorder (ADD), autism, bi-polar personality, etc. while they were here on Earth. Naturally, because of what I do as a medium, my personal dealings are after the fact of whatever happened here while the children were in their bodies. But I am honored to be able to work at connecting those children who are now Spirit to their parents (and others) who have suffered this heartbreaking loss, and are now healthy and well on the Other Side.

I’d like to share with you information on a professional who has done worldwide research on The Children of Now – Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey, Ph.D. I had Ms. Blackburn on my show recently. In case you missed the show, you can listen here. I would strongly advise anyone who wants to have some insight into the children of today, to please read Dr. Losey’s book. It’s a cliché but true that . . . it is “Our children who will inherit the earth,” and it is also our responsibility as adults to aid in that journey.

I know that during our journeys, each of us has had Valentine celebrations in school, and/or with a young sweetheart, and/or with families, etc. And the tradition still goes on.

Here’s hoping your matters of the heart on Valentine’s Day, and all days, involve Love.