Blog

Motherless Daughters : The Legacy of Loss ~ Hope Edelman

by

Going through breast cancer with my mother, who is a survivor, thoughts of loss are always very present in my life. Recently through my work and personal life I’ve gotten phone calls from close friends about their mothers passing from Cancer.

In my book “Everything Happens for a Reason” I wrote about a yearly convention that happens in October: Motherless Daughters. It was by “coincidence”  that I happened to be on book tour when the convention was being held. Interestingly enough I was on book tour for my 3rd book, and was finishing up “Everything Happens for a Reason” while being in the hotel during the conference.

In my book I had just written the section on losing a parent, when I came across Hope Edelmans’ article on her book. The passage I remember reading was that there is something about the loss of a mother that affects us on a very deep level. There is a real sense of loss of a part of ourselves. We have lost the primary role model for womanhood.

When a woman loses her mother before she reaches maturity, she’ll always wonder how different her life might have been if her mother had lived. It will effect her thoughts on having children of her own, should she have children and will she herself die young. Whatever her reaction to the loss, you can be sure it will impact her life on so many levels for her entire life.

Excerpt from “Everything Happens for a Reason” Suzane Northrop

Merry May!

by

Welcome to the merry month of May! Clearly one of my favorite months, in part because my birthday is in May. And of course, May means Mother’s Day which is said to be the day on which the most phone calls are made nationwide, even beyond Christmas!

As a reminder, I will once again be doing the “Mother’s Day Special” for radio station WXLO in Worcester, Massachusetts, to honor all mothers aound the world who, without enough recognition, do all those many special things that are so important to all of us.

While a title doesn’t necessarily earn you the reality, there is no doubt that by giving birth, a woman does become a mother. However, I have met so many women who could easily claim the title of mother even though they have never had biological children of their own. I can’t tell you how many sessions I’ve had where a “mother’s presence” is coming through and then I learn that the woman was not a biological mother, but the woman who was identified as a mother, because she played the part so well. I’d like to honor those women who take on the role of mother so eloquently, without claiming the title.

On another note, I’d like to share with you one of my favorite stories that is fitting for our Mother’s Day theme. I got an email a while ago from a mother, and it provides a unique insight into the lengths mothers will go to make things easier for their kids. See what you think.

Dear Suzane,
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to Heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in Heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her. You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love,
Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith, and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to Heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, “To Meredith” . . . in an unfamiliar hand writing. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, When a Pet Dies. Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in Heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in Heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Love,
God

Just one example of the little things that mothers do for their kids – this time with a unique assist from someone in the U.S. Postal Service who also knows the importance of motherhood.
So let’s remember to give thanks this Mother’s Day to all those mothers and mother figures here in the physical or waiting for us on the Other Side. And let’s also take a moment to honor how much better it is to share a world with mothers so willing to prepare a loving meal, lend an ear to listen, a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on – whenever there are kids in need.
Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

The Beauty of the Seasons

by

It’s March, and the vernal equinox is around the corner, arriving March 22nd.  There is beauty in all of the seasons, but poets, artists, singers and gardeners love the Spring.

Most of us, including myself, are biting at the bit waiting for the warm weather to arrive.

Well, it’s just a few weeks away!  Get ready!

Although Spring is associated with new beginnings, it’s not always easy to get into that poetic mindset if you’ve gone through a really tough winter that included experiencing the loss a loved one.  I get a lot of questions about how to cope with loss, and one typical example, from Renee, follows:

“Dear Suzane, Thank you for the work that you do.  I received a message from my dearest husband through you at your seminar at the Omega Institute in New York.  I am surrounded by people who are in pain because of the death of a loved one (what I call the “walking wounded”).  It occurs to me that our culture seriously does not know how to deal with death.  People are left to fend for themselves, or are drugged, or just lose their minds.  Even after eight years, the pain of the loss of my husband is so great that I find myself withdrawn from the life that I once knew, and basically just waiting to die.  THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY!

I have read so many books (yours, Raymond Moody’s, Hank Wesselman’s, Dannion Brinkley’s and MANY many more…).  I have been through the eight week grief therapy process, and had personal counseling.  I have consulted mediums.  Now, I am trying desperately to come to terms with death and find meaning to the time that I have remaining here on earth.  At this point, I feel I should have some answers, but I only have more questions.  I found myself over and over again hearing these words, THERE MUST BE A BETTER WAY”

I wish I could tell Renee, and everyone, “Yes, there’s a better way and here it is…”  But the truth of the matter is that grief is a process and we each have to get through it as best we can, in our own way.  There are no magic wands to wave, or secret levers to pull.  To be totally honest, while practicing mediumship over all these years, I am continually amazed by how well people actually deal with their grieving processes quite naturally.  This is perhaps a commentary about the kind of open-minded people who attend my events, and I am certainly honored that they come to me for whatever extra comfort I might be able to provide.  Yet, even in the everyday world, so many folks already have an intuitive sense of what it’s all about, and patiently get through the process and soon start looking forward to their “next Spring.”  I know that this may not be what Renee wanted to hear, but it is the truth.

Now, with all that being said, there are indeed so many things that can help you progress through the grieving process.  First of all, keep loving.  Also, try to go about your day as best you can, as normally as possible.  It’s important to keep sight of the fact that you have a responsibility to yourself and those around you to resume living your life to the fullest, and eventually recapture joy.  Read up on the afterlife if you feel drawn to that – one of my books or the many others that are available.  Be patient with yourself.  There are no deadlines to meet.  When you start feeling upset, focus on your breathing, and try to relax.  Of course, it doesn’t hurt to cry.  When times get tough, remember that eventually your new beginning, your Spring, will arrive.  Have faith.  Yes, it’s difficult, but you will get through it.

One other thought, know you are never alone.  Your loved ones in spirit-along with your guides, angels, spirit helpers, whatever you want to call them-are there keeping an eye on you always.

This Spring I’m so looking forward to getting back into my gardening work, planting those seeds and watching them grow.  It is so amazing how that magical journey unfolds. But before we get there…I am very pleased to announce that I’ll be at the Afterlife Conference in Virgina Beach-one of my favorite venues-beginning Friday March 9 and lasting thru the weekend.  Lots of wonderful speakers and presenters, as you can see here:

http://www.regonline.com/builder/site/Default.aspx?EventID=975447 Hope to meet up with you there, if you can make it!

To all of you, THANKS for being a part of the work I love to do.